The chart below give the information about the percentage of the adults population who were overweight in four different countries in 1980,1990,2000

The chart below give the information about the percentage of the adults population who were overweight in four different countries in 1980,1990,2000
The bar chart shows
explanation
Correct article usage
an explanation
show examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
number
of population of adults in
Add an article
the percent
show examples
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
who
experienced
Verb problem
were
show examples
overweight in
Japan
, Finland,
Australia
and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
from 1980 to 2000.
Overall
, it can be seen that
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
predominated throughout the periods. All of the countries except
Japan
experienced a significant increase from 1980 to 2000,
while
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
remained unchanged
number
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
the first ten years. Looking in more detail,
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
stood at 15%
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
adults
Fix the agreement mistake
adult
show examples
residents
number
.
Then
, there was a sharp growth in
sum
Add an article
the sum
show examples
of
overweight
Add an article
the overweight
show examples
mature population in 1990.
Next,
it dramatically rose and reached the highest position
at the end
of
frame
Add an article
the frame
show examples
time. In the
mean
Correct your spelling
meantime
show examples
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
Japan
was the lowest country in overweight residents for adults.
Japan
began at under 5% population and remained
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
unchanged
number
until 1990.
However
, there was a slight
rose
Replace the word
rise
show examples
between 1990
to
Correct word choice
and
show examples
2000. Meanwhile, Finland and
Australia
had
a nearly similar trends
Correct the article-noun agreement
a nearly similar trend
nearly similar trends
show examples
. In
Finlad
Correct your spelling
Finland
, the
number
of grown-up people who passed obesity started
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
just over 5%.
Then
, it slightly grew in 1990 and underwent a gradual jump.
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
similar condition was experienced by
Australia
. At
beginning
Correct article usage
the beginning
show examples
of
period
Add an article
the period
show examples
,
Australia
set to just over 5%
as
Change preposition
like
show examples
Finland
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
followed by a gradual jump.
Then
,
at the end
of
frame
Correct article usage
the frame
show examples
time, there was a sharp increase
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, japan, australia with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "unchanged" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradual" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.

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