IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

Today people have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What do you think why it is so. What are the reasons? Suggest some solutions for solving this situation.

#people #diets #exercise #situation
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Exercise
Use synonyms
 is the most essential
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 to have a healthy body. In
this
Linking Words
 contemporary world,
People
Use synonyms
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to
exercise
Use synonyms
 and have unhealthy diets. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 discuss
this
Linking Words
 issue and give my opinion
at the end
Linking Words
 of the essay.
First,
Linking Words
In
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
 context,
People
Use synonyms
 only focus on their jobs and
carrer
Correct your spelling
career
careers
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
People
Use synonyms
works
Correct subject-verb agreement
work
show examples
 around 8 to 10 hours on
daily
Correct article usage
a daily
show examples
based
Correct your spelling
basis
show examples
 to earn money and provide their family
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
better life. Because of
this
Linking Words
 reason
people
Use synonyms
 do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 and they even do not have
time
Use synonyms
 to make healthy breakfast or dinner for themself Because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
relay
Correct your spelling
rely
show examples
 on
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
such
Linking Words
 as pizza,
burger
Correct word choice
and burger
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, From
historical
Add an article
a historical
the historical
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 point of view, Most of the
people
Use synonyms
 from
todays
Change to a genitive case
today's
show examples
 generation are unhealthy and lazy
compare
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
 to our
ancestor
Fix the agreement mistake
ancestors
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. Because of rapidly growing technological advancement. Technology
Provice
Correct your spelling
provides
 us
many
Change preposition
with many
show examples
 useful
device
Change to a plural noun
devices
show examples
that is
Linking Words
 very handy in our
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
 life because of that
people
Use synonyms
 do not put that must effort
to do
Change preposition
into doing
show examples
 any think.
Finally
Linking Words
, In
this
Linking Words
 busy
life
Add a comma
life,
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 do have unhealthy diets because of
fastfood
Correct your spelling
fast food
 and lazy
habbit
Correct your spelling
habits
However
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if
people
Use synonyms
 can manage some
time
Use synonyms
 for themself and maintain that
time
Use synonyms
 for
theri healt
Correct your spelling
their health
 and do
exercise
Use synonyms
 and eat healthy food.
then
Linking Words
 they will be perfectly fine.
Submitted by bibekluitel758 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Your response needs to discuss the reasons behind unhealthy diets and lack of exercise, as well as provide specific solutions. Aim to expand on your solutions more concretely.
Coherence and Cohesion
Focus on improving the logical structure of your essay by organizing ideas more clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details. Make sure transitions between sentences and paragraphs are smooth to guide the reader through your argument.
Grammar
Revise for grammatical accuracy and aim to vary your sentence structures. This will not only enhance readability but will also add to the overall coherence of your essay. Pay close attention to verb tense consistency and the correct use of articles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • prevalence
  • processed foods
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • digital entertainment
  • balanced diet
  • exacerbates
  • implement policies
  • active transportation
  • promote availability
  • affordability
  • innovative technological solutions
  • motivate
  • awareness
  • dietary habits
  • exercise routines
What to do next:
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