IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

In recent years, many small local shops have closed because customers travel to large shoppings centres or malls to do their shoping. Is this a positive or a negative development ?

#years #shops #customers #travel #shoppings #centres #malls #development
The closure of small local shops in favour of large shopping
centres
 or malls presents a mixed picture of developments.
While
 some may view
this
 trend as positive for its convenience and variety, others argue it brings negative consequences. On the positive side, large shopping
centres
 offer a one-stop destination for consumers, providing a wide range of products and services in a single location.
This
 can save shoppers time and effort, making their shopping experience more efficient and convenient.
Additionally
, the presence of anchor stores and major brands in these malls can attract customers from a wider geographic area, potentially boosting local economies and creating job opportunities.
However
,
this
 shift towards large shopping
centres
 can have detrimental effects on local communities and small businesses. The closure of small local shops can lead to the loss of unique neighbourhood character and the erosion of community connections.
Moreover
, it may result in unemployment for local residents who worked in these businesses, contributing to economic hardship and social dislocation.
Additionally
, the dominance of large shopping
centres
 can lead to the concentration of wealth and power in the hands of a few corporations, potentially stifling competition and limiting consumer choice. In conclusion,
while
 the rise of large shopping
centres
 offers certain benefits in terms of convenience and economic opportunities, it
also
 poses challenges for local communities and small businesses. Finding a balance between supporting large-scale retail developments and preserving the vitality and diversity of local economies is crucial for fostering sustainable and inclusive growth.
Submitted by Leb.7149 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your essay directly addresses the essay prompt by making a clear stance on whether the development is positive or negative, rather than primarily presenting a balanced view.
task achievement
Work on making your introduction and conclusion stronger. The introduction should clearly state your position on the topic, and the conclusion should summarily reinforce your stance, offering a clear resolution.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure by clearly delineating between paragraphs that discuss positive aspects, negative consequences, and your overarching view. Use transition words to smoothly connect ideas within and between paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples where possible. This will make your argument more compelling and grounded in real-world scenarios, adding depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: