At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, In several countries around the
world
Add a comma
world,
show examples
the ratio of young public is significantly higher in numbers as compared to the public who is
more elder
Correct word choice
older
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in age. I believe there advantages exceed the disadvantages and
i
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I
show examples
will explain
further
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in
this
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essay. First of all, the first
drwabacks
Correct your spelling
drawbacks
drawback
of
this
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is that our society would lose the most Unique
assest
Correct your spelling
asset
assist
who is our
Elders
Use synonyms
.
In other words
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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individuals
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
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is
Change the verb form
are
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more in age
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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more experience and if you
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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lack
of
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apply
show examples
experience our society will collapse.
In Addition
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, our scientific research and modern technology research will
also
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become difficult
due to
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
insufficient information.
Therefore
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,
Elders
Use synonyms
are the need of society. Shifting towards advantages,
firstly
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, more younger people means more growth in
Country
Correct article usage
the Country
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because younger people can do anything better than any age. They have
strong
Add an article
a strong
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body, more muscles more power and
also
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stronger mindsets to go
further
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.
For instance
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, You want to make a new building but you don't have any Stronger and fit people how you gonna make it so in a result young public is required for hard
work
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
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, the young public is more
acknowledgable
Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
acknowledgeable
than
elders
Use synonyms
. They have more information about
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today's
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today
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today's
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world
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the internet
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internet
Correct article usage
the internet
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and so many informational
lplatforms
Correct your spelling
platforms
platform
and can do more tough
work
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along with
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smart
work
Use synonyms
because young individuals
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
more ability to perform different tasks rather than
a
Correct article usage
an
show examples
old man.So, elaborate
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
that young adults are more capable
to do
Change preposition
of doing
show examples
hard and smart
work
Use synonyms
. In Conclusion,
elders
Use synonyms
are our special asset but
on the other hand
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, young humans can grow their country and
also
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do more hard
work
Use synonyms
and smart
work
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mateentariq582 on

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Structure and Organization
Make sure your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as moreover, however, in addition) appropriately to help link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Supporting Details
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Whenever you make a claim or present an advantage/disadvantage, substantiate it with an example or further detail.
Task Understanding
Work on paraphrasing the task prompt more effectively in your introduction. Try to express the task's statement in your own words to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Grammar
Pay close attention to grammar and punctuation to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Frequent errors can distract the reader and detract from the effectiveness of your argument.
Vocabulary
Increase the range of your vocabulary. Employing a diverse lexicon not only helps to express ideas more precisely but also engages the reader more effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic
  • workforce
  • productivity
  • innovation
  • skilled labor
  • social development
  • technology
  • dividend
  • competition
  • resources
  • social welfare
  • unrest
  • instability
  • healthcare
  • elderly care
What to do next:
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