At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Nowadays, In several countries around the
world
the ratio of young public is significantly higher in numbers as compared to the public who is Add a comma
world,
more elder
in age. I believe there advantages exceed the disadvantages and Correct word choice
older
i
will explain Change the capitalization
I
further
in this
essay.
First of all, the first drwabacks
of Correct your spelling
drawbacks
drawback
this
is that our society would lose the most Unique assest
who is our Correct your spelling
asset
assist
Elders
. In other words
, the
individuals Correct article usage
apply
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
is
more in age Change the verb form
are
has
more experience and if you Correct subject-verb agreement
have
have
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
experience our society will collapse.Change preposition
apply
In Addition
, our scientific research and modern technology research will also
become difficult due to
the
insufficient information. Correct article usage
apply
Therefore
, Elders
are the need of society.
Shifting towards advantages, firstly
, more younger people means more growth in Country
because younger people can do anything better than any age. They have Correct article usage
the Country
strong
body, more muscles more power and Add an article
a strong
also
stronger mindsets to go further
. For instance
, You want to make a new building but you don't have any Stronger and fit people how you gonna make it so in a result young public is required for hard work
.
Secondly
, the young public is more acknowledgable
than Correct your spelling
knowledgeable
acknowledgeable
elders
. They have more information about Change noun form
today's
today
world Change noun form
today's
due to
Correct article usage
the internet
internet
and so many informational Correct article usage
the internet
lplatforms
and can do more tough Correct your spelling
platforms
platform
work
along with
smart work
because young individuals Correct subject-verb agreement
have
has
more ability to perform different tasks rather than Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
old man.So, elaborate Correct article usage
an
with
that young adults are more capable Change preposition
apply
to do
hard and smart Change preposition
of doing
work
.
In Conclusion,elders
are our special asset but on the other hand
, young humans can grow their country and also
do more hard work
and smart work
.Submitted by mateentariq582 on
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Structure and Organization
Make sure your essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea followed by supporting details.
Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices (such as moreover, however, in addition) appropriately to help link ideas within and across paragraphs.
Supporting Details
Develop your main points with specific examples and explanations. Whenever you make a claim or present an advantage/disadvantage, substantiate it with an example or further detail.
Task Understanding
Work on paraphrasing the task prompt more effectively in your introduction. Try to express the task's statement in your own words to show a deeper understanding of the topic.
Grammar
Pay close attention to grammar and punctuation to enhance the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Frequent errors can distract the reader and detract from the effectiveness of your argument.
Vocabulary
Increase the range of your vocabulary. Employing a diverse lexicon not only helps to express ideas more precisely but also engages the reader more effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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