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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts show the proportion of holidaymakers of one region staying in different types of accommodation in three different years.

The charts show the proportion of holidaymakers of one region staying in different types of accommodation in three different years.
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The provided three
pie
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 charts compare the differences in
holiday takers
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holiday-takers
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accommodation
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 choices over the years of 1965, 1985 and 2000. The provided
accommodation
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 options are staying with
friends
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 or relatives, booking a hotel, camping or staying in caravans.
Initially
Linking Words
, we can see that the dominant choice in 1965 was staying with
friends
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 or relatives, taking up more than
one half
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one-half
show examples
 of the
pie
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 chart at 55 per
cent
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. The other three options showed little difference in percentage, given that all three were taking up just about 15 per
cent
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 of the
pie
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 chart.
However
Linking Words
, the situation changed in 1985,
where
Correct word choice
when
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 booking hotels roughly doubled in popularity and made up 37 per
cent
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 of the
accommodation
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 preference. Camping experienced a slight rise in percentage,
while
Linking Words
 caravans mildly dropped to 10 per
cent
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. A significant drop can be seen in the possibility of staying with
friends
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,
due to
Linking Words
 the fact that only 35 per
cent
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 of people made
such
Linking Words
 an
accommodation
Use synonyms
 choice in 1985.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in 2005, caravans made a comeback, reaching a record fraction and taking up
one fifth
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one-fifth
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 of the whole
pie
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 chart,
while
Linking Words
 staying with
friends
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 reached an
all time
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all-time
show examples
 low of 30 per
cent
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.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words pie, accommodation, friends, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "differences" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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