IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Every country should have a free health service, even if this means that the latest medical treatments may not be available through the service because they are too expensive. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#country #health #service #treatments
Nowadays all people need money to buy groceries, pay bills, loans and
also
 health
services
. Many people believe that healthcare should be accessible to everyone,
on the other hand
, there are thinkers who argue that all hospitals and other medical
services
 should be private to have access to the latest technologies. In
this
 essay, we will discuss why all countries should give their citizens free health
services
. One of the big concerns is that every hospital and medical centre has many expenses
such
 as doctors, ambulances and all equipment, but there are states like Italy or Australia where the government has set up a budget to cover all the expenses,
this
 money comes from taxes.
This
 solution may be helpful for all the big families with kids who are struggling to reach the end of the month.
Also
, they offer private treatment for those people who can afford all the expenses or for those who need urgent surgery and can’t wait.
On the other hand
, there are states like America and Switzerland that despite being famous for their advanced technology to heal severe diseases like cancer or heart problems, all the healthcare is totally private from a consultation with your general practitioner to a lifesaver surgery. The most famous journalist Mr Smith who wrote a book about all the medical
services
 and conditions of the world said that “ it doesn't matter how big is your bank account because every human life is much more valuable rather than money ” In conclusion, from
this
 essay, we learnt that countries like Italy offer a free health service and in my personal opinion every state like America which is all private should take an example.
Submitted by ste.deblasi.97 on

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Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction precisely addresses the topic and your stance on it. Briefly outline the arguments you will discuss.
Task Achievement
Develop each paragraph with a clear topic sentence followed by explanations and examples. Focus on how free healthcare impacts society and individuals, and compare it effectively with private healthcare systems.
Coherence & Cohesion
Maintain a clear logical structure throughout your essay. Consider using more distinct paragraphs to separate your ideas more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use linking words and phrases more effectively to ensure smoother connections between your sentences and paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on your conclusion to more strongly restate your stance and summarise the key points made in the essay. This reinforces your argument to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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