IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe bicycles have lots of advantages, whereas others believe bicycles have more disadvantages. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

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Whether riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 brings a lot of benefits or not
is
Verb problem
has
show examples
 emerged as a controversial topic of general interest . The writer of
this
Linking Words
 essay
belives
Correct your spelling
believes
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 that even though
this
Linking Words
 will lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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inconvenience
Use synonyms
 especially when it comes to the demand to
move
Use synonyms
 between locations ,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it must provide good points
due to
Linking Words
 how it
improve
Change the verb form
improves
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one
Use synonyms
's health and
reduce
Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
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 the pollution inside the city. There is no denying
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the benefits
which
Correct word choice
that
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 riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 can provide to the user
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
 how it
advance
Correct subject-verb agreement
advances
show examples
 their body . It must be recognised that , when
people
Use synonyms
 use the
bicycle
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 to go around , it does not only
accomodate
Correct your spelling
accommodate
 their demand
in moving
Change preposition
to move
show examples
 between locations but
also
Linking Words
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
 them
taking
Verb problem
do
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 some gentle exercises
simulateneously
Correct your spelling
simultaneously
 which undoubtfully benefit their health later . Taking Singapore as a specific example , the government of
this
Linking Words
 nation has been running
campaign
Fix the agreement mistake
campaigns
show examples
 related to hiring and using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
 in public , leading to an inexorably decreasing rate of
people
Use synonyms
 being ill in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
recent years.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
 , it is
also
Linking Words
 reasonable to say that the usage of
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 may
leave
Verb problem
cause
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 some
inconvenience
Use synonyms
 related to moving
in
Change preposition
at
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 a long distance .
This
Linking Words
 is because , if the demand of those is moving to
a remote locations
Correct the article-noun agreement
remote locations
a remote location
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, using a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 has never been an ideal option as the result of
one
Use synonyms
's endurance and
also
Linking Words
 time
constraint
Fix the agreement mistake
constraints
show examples
 which will lead to some
inconvenience
Use synonyms
 .
Therefore
Linking Words
 ,
instead
Linking Words
 of using
this
Linking Words
 simple transportation to
move
Use synonyms
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 prefer using more technological ones as it
accommodate
Change the verb form
accommodates
show examples
 their need
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
punctuality and rest . It is the opinion of the writer that using a
bicycle
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 , even though creates
somes
Correct your spelling
some
 difficulties , still brings a lot of advantages to not only
people
Use synonyms
 but
also
Linking Words
environment
Add an article
the environment
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 . It is obvious that
Linking Words
this eco-friendly transportations
Change the determiner
this eco-friendly transportation
these eco-friendly transportations
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 emit no polluted gases when
people
Use synonyms
 use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 to
move
Use synonyms
 on the road which means if
people
Use synonyms
 maintain the habit of using
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
show examples
, they can contribute to creating a cleaner living environment .
For instance
Linking Words
 , in Singapore , the residents here tend to use
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
bicycle
Fix the agreement mistake
bicycles
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 in order to
move
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
short
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
, leading to a city with a minority of
polluion
Correct your spelling
pollution
 existing In conclusion , riding a
bicycle
Use synonyms
 , whether bringing advantages
such
Linking Words
 as improving
one
Use synonyms
's health or leaving the
inconvenience
Use synonyms
 to
one
Use synonyms
's life ,
i
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
still claims that it is more likely to provide good points to not only our life but
also
Linking Words
whole
Add an article
the whole
show examples
 environment

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structure
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your introduction and conclusion are present, but your body paragraphs could be more clearly defined with topic sentences.
cohesion
Use a variety of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. While you have some coherence, further variety in connectors and clearer paragraphing would enhance the readability of your work.
task response
Address the prompt directly and make sure your opinion is stated clearly in the introduction and reinforced in the conclusion. While you discuss both views, make your stance more explicitly apparent early on.
examples
Incorporate more specific examples and data to support your points. You mention Singapore as an example, which is good, but additional, detailed examples would strengthen your argument.
accuracy
Review grammar and punctuation to avoid simple mistakes that can distract from your message. Regular practice and feedback can help improve your accuracy over time.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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