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Band 5

Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/She would like your advice about finding a place to live.

#friend #place #course #university #advice
Dear Sagan, I hope
this
 letter finds you radiant in health and spirit. I have received your letter and I understand that you are seeking advice from me about finding a rental place to live during your course at university. First of all, congratulations on your new milestone
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 getting admission to a reputed university. I
also
 studied on the same campus during my college days. I used to live in an apartment near the north campus, which is called “Hummer Campus”. There are plenty of apartments available at a reasonable price.I recommend you
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
check the description of these apartments from different apps
such
 as Kanji, Marketplace and rental.ca.
In addition
 to
this
, you can
also
 visit the local grocery stores and Sikh -temples to look for advertisements posted on their noticeboards. Be aware of various factors before finalizing your decision,
such
 as, thoroughly reading the rental agreement, a complete understanding of terms and conditions and a mode of payment. I suggest you share your room with your close friend, who is a nice and tidy person. It will help you to reduce the cost of living to some extent and to manage expenses wisely. Good luck
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 your future and don’t hesitate if you need any other assistance. Your best friend Parneet
Submitted by parneetkaur22121998 on

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Task Achievement
When addressing the task of providing advice, ensure that you offer a wide range of specific suggestions and recommendations. Adding more examples and elaborating further on each piece of advice would enhance the depth of your response and ensure a higher task achievement score.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to link your ideas more clearly. While your letter does have a logical structure, using a wider range of linking phrases and more explicit connections between ideas can improve the flow and understanding of your letter.
Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your introduction and conclusion sections are clearly defined and distinct to the reader. This was achieved, but further emphasis on summarizing key advice in the conclusion could reinforce your key points. Additionally, while the main points are supported, elaboration through specific examples from your own experience or hypothetical scenarios could strengthen your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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