TOPIC: School children are becoming far too dependent on computers. This is having an alarming effect on reading and writing skills. Teachers need to avoid using computers in the classroom at all costs and go back to teaching basic study skills. Do you agree or disagree?

With the help of the
technology
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technology,
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the world has come a long way . In
current
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the current
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scenario
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scenario,
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computers play a significant role in our lives .
Computer
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The computer
A computer
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makes our life much easier and
also
saves our time . today's youth are the greatest assets of the nation and it's our duty to give them proper guidance so that they can
be grow
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grow
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up nicely . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people who believe that
school going
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school-going
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pupils are becoming addicted to computers
therefore
it
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apply
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has a negative impact on their
writting
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writing
and reading skills . There is a range of conflicting arguments related to the assertion
.some
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Some
communities
said
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say
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thed
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that
teacher
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teachers
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need to avoid using modern devices
while
teaching .
Weather
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Whether
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to agree or not it's a
though provoking
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though-provoking
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question but as far as I can see it's more justified to disagree with the notion . In upcoming paragraphs, I will not only shed light on
the
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apply
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both sides but
also
elaborate on my point of view .
Submitted by shyamal017 on

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task achievement
Your introduction starts with a general observation about technology, which is good, but make sure to directly address the essay question. After your opening sentence, quickly discuss the argument presented and state your position.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs further. Each paragraph should introduce one main idea, followed by supporting sentences and perhaps a concluding sentence. Aim for clarity and depth in your argumentation.
coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more logically. A clear logical structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs each discussing a separate aspect of your argument, and a conclusion. Transition between these sections smoothly.
coherence and cohesion
Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to make the main idea clear right away. Follow this by explanations and examples. Additionally, make sure your sentences within paragraphs stick to the main idea.
coherence and cohesion
There are noticeable grammatical errors and awkward phrasings throughout your essay. Improving your grammar and sentence construction will not only enhance clarity but also the overall credibility of your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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