The car is possibly the most convenient and popular way of getting from A to B. However, due to its impact on the environment and the risk it poses to pedestrians and motorists, governments should take urgent steps to reduce our dependency on this mode of transport. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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While

Linking Words

some people continue to select cars as their mode of transportation, it can bring several risks to society, which makes the government

adresses

Correct your spelling

address

methods for reducing its usage, and I completely agree with

that

Correct determiner usage

those

show examples

conditions.

Furthermore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons for my given statement.

To begin

Linking Words

with, the declining proportion of

car

Use synonyms

drivers

Use synonyms

can make the street more secure since

car

Use synonyms

transport has been a major contributor to street accidents. It is acceptable because nowadays enormous

car

Use synonyms

manufacturers are installing technologies that can heighten the driver’s convenience but fail to make them do mindful driving.

As a result

Linking Words

, they are not aware of their surroundings

while

Linking Words

driving, which eventually involves them in road accidents.

For example

Linking Words

, the automatic

drive

Replace the word

driving

show examples

system in Tesla may be helpful for

drivers

Use synonyms

who want to multitask during their journey.

However

Linking Words

, recent statistics have proven that almost 90% of

car

Use synonyms

accidents in the United States were

also

Linking Words

caused by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

drivers

Use synonyms

who use that system.

This

Linking Words

means that

although

Linking Words

streetcars already

offering

Wrong verb form

offer

show examples

Add an article

a more

show examples

comfortable way to drive, it does not guarantee to hinder the

drivers

Use synonyms

from unwanted events.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, decreasing the number of gasoline-based vehicles can result in a healthier environment.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Jakarta, the local decree that has been issued by the Jakarta governor, Anies Baswedan, regarding the prohibition of taking private vehicles to transport in the town for about five days has resulted in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

good air quality and a remarkable decrease in the percentage of people who suffer from respiratory diseases. It is found to be effective since the amount of hazardous gases that can cause air pollution,

such

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as nitrogen and carbon dioxide that have been emitted into the sky from cars has reduced significantly.

To conclude

Linking Words

, I completely agree with the government’s plan to reduce the number of

car

Use synonyms

drivers

Use synonyms

, because it can make the

street

Fix the agreement mistake

streets

show examples

safer and the environment healthier.

ru.kabiru.biruWed Mar 20 2024

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Task Achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly presents your viewpoint and outlines the essay structure. Refrain from saying 'this essay will discuss' as it's more effective to directly state your main points.

Task Achievement

Develop your paragraphs with a clear main idea at the beginning, followed by supporting details and examples. This helps in making your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve the essay's flow by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will help in connecting ideas more smoothly and enhancing overall coherence.

Coherence and Cohesion

Try to avoid repetition of ideas or phrases. Instead, use synonyms or rephrase your sentences to maintain the reader's interest and demonstrate a wide range of vocabulary.

Coherence and Cohesion

Conclude your essay by summarizing your main points and restating your position. A well-crafted conclusion helps in leaving a lasting impression on the reader.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

314 words

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