Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In nowadays modern society,
people
use a wide range of social
media
to contact
with
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apply
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other
people
and collect social problem events. The writer of
this
essay believes that despite possible
people
's addiction it does not outweigh the benefits of obtaining
information
from the
internet
. The most important factor
of
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in
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using social
media
is how convenient it is . Some
people
who are away from home, can't prevent them from missing their parents or their family.
Instead
of the usual function of calling and texting, now
people
can use social
media
to
see
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apply
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the
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apply
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capture
of
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apply
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their daily routine, it
also
combines calling with the camera so they can talk to them in person.
Moreover
, users can follow their
idol
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idols
show examples
or the news
is
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that is
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happening. Another factor is that the
information
people
receive on the
internet
is reliable and trusted.
People
must know where the official government channel to receive
information
.
Therefore
, users can gain the social problem to tackle with it.
For instance
, Bao
Moi
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Moi's
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appillication
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application
applications
provide
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provides
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the
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apply
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reliable
soursce
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source
sources
that
help
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helps
show examples
people
must know in society.
Thus
, collecting from social
network
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networks
show examples
is
usefull
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useful
for many
people
, so it
developes
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develops
developed
cognitive
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the cognitive
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to
faces
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face
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with
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apply
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many challenges.
However
, both things have two edges, many users aren't wise enough to filter the real
information
.
Moreover
, some types of sources contain
information
is
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that is
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offensive, harassing or bullying on the
internet
, so
people
can be deterred from illegal actions on the
internet
.
Therefore
, young
people
can stuck in bad habits
while
in the formation process.
For instance
, when scrolling social
media
,
people
easily find posts that teach tricks but somehow it is not verified,
people
therefore
imitate the bad things.
Hence
, copying the bad action
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from
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form
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from
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the social networking site
affect
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affects
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the way
people
acting
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act
show examples
In conclusion, using social
media
in the right way requires lots of skills,
people
must be wiser to
aware
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be aware
show examples
of bad
information
.
Although
being old in
this
modern world gives older
people
great chances to access a better life, it
also
creates concerns about resources.
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Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs follow a clear logical structure, starting with a topic sentence followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence. This helps improve clarity and argument strength.
Coherence & Cohesion
Provide clearer introductions and conclusions. The introduction should more explicitly state the advantages and disadvantages to be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly restate the key points and your position.
Task Achievement
Back up your main points with more detailed, specific examples. General statements are less convincing than examples that clearly illustrate how social media impacts individuals or society.
Task Achievement
Work on providing a more complete response to the task. Make sure to address the question directly in both the introduction and conclusion. Clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages to make your stance more evident.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review the essay for grammar and vocabulary accuracy. Avoid repetition and strive for varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary. This not only enhances readability but also demonstrates language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
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