Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In nowadays modern society,

people

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use a wide range of social

media

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to contact

with

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apply

show examples

other

people

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and collect social problem events. The writer of

this

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essay believes that despite possible

people

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's addiction it does not outweigh the benefits of obtaining

information

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from the

internet

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. The most important factor

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show examples

using social

media

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is how convenient it is . Some

people

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who are away from home, can't prevent them from missing their parents or their family.

Instead

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of the usual function of calling and texting, now

people

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can use social

media

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see

Verb problem

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

capture

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apply

show examples

their daily routine, it

also

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combines calling with the camera so they can talk to them in person.

Moreover

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, users can follow their

idol

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idols

show examples

or the news

Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

happening. Another factor is that the

information

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people

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receive on the

internet

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is reliable and trusted.

People

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must know where the official government channel to receive

information

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Therefore

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, users can gain the social problem to tackle with it.

For instance

Linking Words

, Bao

Moi

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Moi's

show examples

appillication

Correct your spelling

application

applications

provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

provides

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

reliable

soursce

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source

sources

that

help

Correct subject-verb agreement

helps

show examples

people

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must know in society.

Thus

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, collecting from social

network

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networks

show examples

usefull

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useful

for many

people

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, so it

developes

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develops

developed

cognitive

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the cognitive

show examples

faces

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face

show examples

with

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apply

show examples

many challenges.

However

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, both things have two edges, many users aren't wise enough to filter the real

information

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Moreover

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, some types of sources contain

information

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Correct pronoun usage

that is

show examples

offensive, harassing or bullying on the

internet

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, so

people

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can be deterred from illegal actions on the

internet

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Therefore

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, young

people

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can stuck in bad habits

while

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in the formation process.

For instance

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, when scrolling social

media

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people

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easily find posts that teach tricks but somehow it is not verified,

people

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therefore

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imitate the bad things.

Hence

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, copying the bad action

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

the social networking site

affect

Correct subject-verb agreement

affects

show examples

the way

people

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acting

Wrong verb form

act

show examples

In conclusion, using social

media

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in the right way requires lots of skills,

people

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must be wiser to

aware

Add a missing verb

be aware

show examples

of bad

information

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Although

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being old in

this

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modern world gives older

people

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great chances to access a better life, it

also

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creates concerns about resources.

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Mar 20, 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Ensure all paragraphs follow a clear logical structure, starting with a topic sentence followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence. This helps improve clarity and argument strength.

Coherence & Cohesion

Provide clearer introductions and conclusions. The introduction should more explicitly state the advantages and disadvantages to be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly restate the key points and your position.

Task Achievement

Back up your main points with more detailed, specific examples. General statements are less convincing than examples that clearly illustrate how social media impacts individuals or society.

Task Achievement

Work on providing a more complete response to the task. Make sure to address the question directly in both the introduction and conclusion. Clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages to make your stance more evident.

Coherence & Cohesion

Review the essay for grammar and vocabulary accuracy. Avoid repetition and strive for varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary. This not only enhances readability but also demonstrates language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
25
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

337 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

facilitate
geographically separated
fostering
connectivity
instant communication
real-time information
misinformation
rigorous checks and balances
fake news
addictive nature
detract
face-to-face interactions
mental health
awareness of limitations

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Plagiarism in school has become a major issue in many countries today. What are the causes of this problem? What are some possible solutions?

Some people think that a holiday (vacation) should always involve doing something new and adventurous. What is your opinion about this ? Give reasons of your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience and knowledge .

«Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation» To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?