Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In nowadays modern society,
people
use a wide range of social
media
to contact
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other
people
and collect social problem events. The writer of
this
essay believes that despite possible
people
's addiction it does not outweigh the benefits of obtaining
information
from the
internet
. The most important factor
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
using social
media
is how convenient it is . Some
people
who are away from home, can't prevent them from missing their parents or their family.
Instead
of the usual function of calling and texting, now
people
can use social
media
to
see
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
capture
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their daily routine, it
also
combines calling with the camera so they can talk to them in person.
Moreover
, users can follow their
idol
Fix the agreement mistake
idols
show examples
or the news
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
happening. Another factor is that the
information
people
receive on the
internet
is reliable and trusted.
People
must know where the official government channel to receive
information
.
Therefore
, users can gain the social problem to tackle with it.
For instance
, Bao
Moi
Change noun form
Moi's
show examples
appillication
Correct your spelling
application
applications
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
reliable
soursce
Correct your spelling
source
sources
that
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
people
must know in society.
Thus
, collecting from social
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
is
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
for many
people
, so it
developes
Correct your spelling
develops
developed
cognitive
Correct article usage
the cognitive
show examples
to
faces
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many challenges.
However
, both things have two edges, many users aren't wise enough to filter the real
information
.
Moreover
, some types of sources contain
information
is
Correct pronoun usage
that is
show examples
offensive, harassing or bullying on the
internet
, so
people
can be deterred from illegal actions on the
internet
.
Therefore
, young
people
can stuck in bad habits
while
in the formation process.
For instance
, when scrolling social
media
,
people
easily find posts that teach tricks but somehow it is not verified,
people
therefore
imitate the bad things.
Hence
, copying the bad action
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
the social networking site
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
the way
people
acting
Wrong verb form
act
show examples
In conclusion, using social
media
in the right way requires lots of skills,
people
must be wiser to
aware
Add a missing verb
be aware
show examples
of bad
information
.
Although
being old in
this
modern world gives older
people
great chances to access a better life, it
also
creates concerns about resources.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure all paragraphs follow a clear logical structure, starting with a topic sentence followed by explanation, example, and a concluding sentence. This helps improve clarity and argument strength.
Coherence & Cohesion
Provide clearer introductions and conclusions. The introduction should more explicitly state the advantages and disadvantages to be discussed, while the conclusion should succinctly restate the key points and your position.
Task Achievement
Back up your main points with more detailed, specific examples. General statements are less convincing than examples that clearly illustrate how social media impacts individuals or society.
Task Achievement
Work on providing a more complete response to the task. Make sure to address the question directly in both the introduction and conclusion. Clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages to make your stance more evident.
Coherence & Cohesion
Review the essay for grammar and vocabulary accuracy. Avoid repetition and strive for varied sentence structures and a wider range of vocabulary. This not only enhances readability but also demonstrates language proficiency.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitate
  • geographically separated
  • fostering
  • connectivity
  • instant communication
  • real-time information
  • misinformation
  • rigorous checks and balances
  • fake news
  • addictive nature
  • detract
  • face-to-face interactions
  • mental health
  • awareness of limitations
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!