It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behaviour to children?
A large number of people hold the view that it is vital for kids to learn the definition of right and wrong. Some individuals believe that it is essential to treat them harshly to help them learn
this
difference. Linking Words
However
, I think it is not a good idea because excessive Linking Words
punishment
could hinder their development.
In my opinion, one of the main issues is that if Use synonyms
parents
and teachers treat Use synonyms
children
harshly, it will create obstacles in their activities, leading to a loss of confidence and placing more pressure on their minds. Admittedly, Use synonyms
punishment
can negatively impact their relationships, resulting in an unhealthy lifestyle. Use synonyms
According to
a survey carried out by Melbourne University, 90% of interviewees said that 65% of juveniles have left primary school in the Linking Words
last
five years, compared to the previous fifteen years. From my own experience and from what I’ve read in articles, Linking Words
children
are more likely to become dissatisfied, which discourages them from paying attention. Use synonyms
As a result
, juveniles may not be able to develop their cognitive abilities.
Linking Words
In contrast
, some individuals think that Linking Words
children
should be punished by their Use synonyms
parents
and teachers to help them learn good Use synonyms
behavior
. Change the spelling
behaviour
However
, I believe that Linking Words
punishment
should be flexible, Use synonyms
such
as providing more lessons or having discussions with Linking Words
parents
, which encourages them to accept difficulties and helps them become better leaders in our society. Take Japan as an example: 75% of Use synonyms
children
have gained practical experience working in teams over the Use synonyms
last
ten years because they were given more opportunities, resulting in increased skills. Linking Words
On the other hand
, I think Linking Words
children
should have self-determination so they can adapt to circumstances. In fact, if Use synonyms
parents
impose too many punishments, it will lead to frustration, and they might turn to drugs, which could harm their careers.
In conclusion, giving Use synonyms
punishment
not only puts pressure on their minds but Use synonyms
also
hinders the development of their skills. Personally, I believe that Linking Words
children
should be provided with more opportunities to learn and grow.Use synonyms
Submitted by mahamudzisan on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each body paragraph addresses a distinct point to avoid repetition. For example, avoid repeating arguments against harsh punishment by focusing on varied aspects, such as emotional impacts in one paragraph and social consequences in another.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the connection between ideas using a wider variety of cohesive devices like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Therefore.' This will ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced viewpoint by including more counterarguments and addressing them effectively. This will enhance the essay’s depth and show that you have considered multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the essay, providing a strong start and finish.
task achievement
The main points are supported with relevant examples, such as the survey from Melbourne University and the example from Japan, which help to illustrate the arguments well.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly responds to the prompt and addresses both parts of the question, outlining personal opinions and suggesting constructive forms of punishment.