You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. More people decided to have children in their later age than in the past. Why? Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
People
nowdays
definitely get married later than Correct the word
nowadays
the
past. Currently, Change preposition
in the
new
word 'Dink' Add an article
the new
showed
up, which means Wrong verb form
has shown
people
who chose not to have the
children. Siblings were common when I was young, but Correct article usage
apply
nowdays
, I can come across only Correct the word
nowadays
child
more often. In my opinion, having a Fix the agreement mistake
children
baby
have
more disadvantages than advantages. We will illustrate the reason why Change the verb form
has
people
chose
not to Wrong verb form
choose
having
a Change the verb form
have
baby
in this
essay.
First of all, Individualism gets stronger than before. Some people
says
the happiest thing in the world is having Change the verb form
say
a children
, but Correct the article-noun agreement
children
a child
this
quote does not have strong empathy nowdays
. Modern Correct the word
nowadays
socienty
has sufficient resources than before Correct your spelling
society
due to
rapid
evaluation of technology and Correct article usage
the rapid
environment
. Correct article usage
the environment
People
do not need to depend to
each other and each life of Change preposition
on
individual
gets more focused.
Correct article usage
an individual
Secondly
, living expenses rise extremely, which means expenditures of
Change preposition
for
growing
Verb problem
raising
up
children rise too. In South Korea, Change preposition
apply
overall
costs for education until university costs 100,000,000 KRW to 400,000,000 KRW. As global
Correct article usage
the global
economic
has been not growing Replace the word
economy
since
Change preposition
in
last
decades, Correct article usage
the last
this
high costs of education burden the Correct determiner usage
the
parents
.
Last
but not the
least, brides and brooms are older than before. The appropriate Correct article usage
apply
age
for safe pregnancy is before 36. In South Korea, the average age
of marriage is approximately 35, which illustrates marriage age
gets
definitely older compared to Verb problem
is
past
, Correct article usage
the past
referring
my Verb problem
apply
parents
married 30
years old. Latency of marriage Change preposition
at 30
age
makes pregant
difficult, which leads to Correct your spelling
pregnancy
parents
decide
not to Wrong verb form
deciding
having
a Change the verb form
have
baby
.
Of course
there are significant advantages Add a comma
course,
with
having a Change preposition
to
baby
. You could be a better person by learning patiency
and responsibility. Correct your spelling
patience
However
, without social or government support, parents
will hesitate to having
a Change the verb form
have
baby
.Submitted by forbid403 on
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task achievement
Clarify and expand on your main points to directly address both parts of the question: why people decide to have children later and if the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages. Your essay focuses mainly on reasons against having children but lacks balance in discussing the advantages.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay more effectively by clearly separating paragraphs and introducing your main points in the introduction. Additionally, conclude your essay by summarizing your arguments and stating your opinion more clearly regarding whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples from your own experience or from a broader societal context to support your arguments. Your essay would benefit from a more detailed exploration of both the advantages and disadvantages of having children later in life.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.