Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvatages?
Recently,
belongs to
the Fourth Industrial Revolution, people Verb problem
during
lean
on digital gadgets more than ever. Individuals use social Wrong verb form
leaned
media
to not only contact with
others but to Change preposition
apply
also
stay abreast of current events. This
writer believes that the benefits of communication and update
information Wrong verb form
updated
which
social networking sites bring about overshadow its Correct word choice
that
drawback
.
It should be acknowledged that there are significant and Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
actful
advantages when it comes to Correct your spelling
tactful
artful
use
social Change the verb form
using
media
. In other words
, social media
allows users to communicate with others without physical, geography
and time barriers, these platforms facilitate instant communication, which Replace the word
geographical
help
families living far away stay connected and retain Change the verb form
helps
relationship
. From Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
valably
Correct your spelling
valuable
previuos
experience, Correct your spelling
previous
this
connectivity was vital during Correct article usage
the Covid-19
Covid-19
pandemic prevented acquaintances who were isolated by lockdowns and Correct your spelling
COVID-19
quarantive
, Correct your spelling
quarantined
addressed
Correct word choice
and addressed
this
problem.
Another merit worth mentioning is that networking sites play a crucial role in updating current incidents swiftly. In addition
, it disseminates real-time news. For example
, if there is in
an urgent condition as Change preposition
apply
disaster
Correct article usage
a disaster
and
pandemic, Correct word choice
or
the
Correct article usage
apply
platform
like Facebook, Instagram or Twitter have proven essential Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
of
spreading information quickly, and helping people stay informed Change preposition
for
make
timely Correct word choice
and make
decision
.
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
However
, there is a flow of opinion
Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
Correct pronoun usage
that disagree
disagree
with these. Privacy concern is a major issue, as users often share sensitive information that can be vulnerable to data breaches. Change the verb form
disagrees
Furthermore
, societal media
can lead to mental health impact
. Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
This
is because prolonged use of it has been associated to
increasing Change preposition
with
feeling
Replace the word
feelings
od
anxiety, depression and loneliness, as users often compare their real lives to the highly curated lives of others they see online.
In conclusion, in the new Correct your spelling
of
are
, using technological devices is unavoidable. If citizens utilize it appropriately Correct your spelling
area
such
as communication without barriers and recent incidents, its benefits will outweigh the drawbacks.Submitted by [email protected] on
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grammar
There are a few grammatical inaccuracies and awkward phrases that need to be corrected to improve clarity. For example, 'valably previuos experience' should be 'valuable previous experience.'
examples
Ensure all points are supported by clear, relevant, and specific examples. Some examples provided are relevant but could be more detailed and specific.
cohesion
The flow of the essay can be further improved. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For instance, use linking words and transitional phrases to improve coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of social media use, showcasing a balanced view.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and summarize the main points effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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