Many people around the world use social media everyday to keep in touch with other people and get news events. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvatages?

There are a lot of
people
across the globe who usually use social platforms as a way to know new
happening
Fix the agreement mistake
happenings
show examples
and connect with other
people
.
This
essay believes that the benefits can surpass the drawbacks.
To begin
with, the main reason why social
media
have benefits for
people
is that can connect with other
people
in different places.
In other words
, for
people
who lost keeping in touch with others like their friends or relatives, social
media
is a way to decrease their distance.
This
platform provides
people
with some ways to help
people
connect with others
such
as texting, calling and sharing daily information.
For instance
, most of the teenagers in Vietnam use Facebook and Instagram to have conversations with friends.
On the other hand
, there is a problem that a few
people
become addicted the social
media
. It is true that because of poor consciousness, some
people
can not control their phone usage time.
As a result
, the
people
who spend a lot of their time on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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social
media
usually turn a blind eye to anything around their life as autistic
people
.
Moreover
, in some cases, the addiction
of
Change preposition
to
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social
media
also
affects
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
’s work or
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
.
For example
, some
people
depend on their parents
while
they have enough ability to earn money,
due to
the addiction
social
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to social
show examples
networking sites. In conclusion, there are some disadvantages of using social
media
make
people
be careful.
Besides
, it
also
provides
people
a
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with a
show examples
lot of advantages if
people
use social platforms in the right way.

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task achievement
Be sure to include a more balanced and detailed examination of both advantages and disadvantages. More comparison could enhance the argument.
coherence cohesion
Begin paragraphs with clear topic sentences, ensuring each paragraph has a singular focus to enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Link ideas more explicitly within and between paragraphs using a variety of cohesive devices.

Your opinion

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