Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion

While
some
people
think it is best to accept a bad
situation
,
for instance
, an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money, I believe the latter statement that improving and trying
such
situations is better. On the one hand, avoiding stress is why some
people
should accept a bad
situation
. Stress can potentially bring mental health issues for some
people
. Mental health issues can probably enable
people
to do harmful things,
such
as suicide.
Thus
,
people
feel it is much better to accept the dire
situation
and just to make them alive.
However
, I do not think
this
is a serious problem as long as
people
are more aware of mental health issues, so
this
situation
can not cause
people
to do stupid things like that.
On the other hand
, trying to improve a bad
situation
is far better because it can potentially lead to a flourishing condition that
people
may not have predicted.
For example
, Jhon LBF, a famous businessman in Indonesia, was an ordinary marketing staff member by the year 2020. Since he has tried so hard to be the best employee for three years, he can now achieve the director position and be popular with his story on social media.
This
is why I believe we do not give up on a bad
situation
,
such
as an unsatisfactory job, and prefer to push ourselves to do more or improve our skills. In conclusion,
while
avoiding stress is why it is best to accept a bad
situation
, I firmly believe that trying to improve a bad
situation
is far much better because it can potentially lead to a flourishing condition.
Submitted by adittyafatma on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Ensure that all ideas are clearly expressed and developed fully to avoid any potential confusion. For instance, consider elaborating more on how awareness can mitigate mental health issues.
relevant specific examples
Try to provide more specific and varied examples to support your points. This could make your argument more compelling and credible.
complete response
While the essay has a clear response to the task, ensure every point is fully fleshed out. It might help to balance both sides equally before giving your opinion.
structure
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame the discussion.
logical structure
Logical structure is present, maintaining a coherent argument throughout the essay.
relevant specific examples
The example of Jhon LBF adds a personal touch and realism to your argument, making the essay engaging.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • adversity
  • resilience
  • stoicism
  • contentment
  • cope
  • adapt
  • endure
  • persevere
  • settle
  • ambition
  • tenacious
  • determined
  • resourceful
  • optimistic
  • self-improvement
  • proactive
  • initiative
  • transform
  • overcome
  • confront
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