The government should spend money in promoting sport and art in school, rather than sponsoring sports and art events in communities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
While
some people believe that authority
should provide financial Fix the agreement mistake
authorities
support
to schools
to promote arts
and sports
, others argue that it is better to focus on arts
and sports
events in communities. I completely agree with former opinion as amples of reasons are present to substantiate it.
First and foremost, one of the obvious reasons for goverments
should provide financial Correct your spelling
governments
government
support
to academic institutions for the development of arts
and sports
is to fortify innate
abilities of juveniles. Correct article usage
the innate
In other words
, young ones' latent talents should be identified and provided adequate training at early
age. To exemplify, renowned Indian Add an article
an early
criket
player Sachin Tendulker's latent talent was identified by the Correct your spelling
cricket
sports
teacher in the school and provided support
for his career development. Similarly
, several schools
would not have sufficient fund
to purchase equipment and supplies for the Fix the agreement mistake
funds
arts
and sports
sections, therefore
, government support
is imperative.
Furthermore
, providing financial support
for schools
will enables
more job Wrong verb form
enable
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
,.
In detail, the Change the punctuation
,
.
govenment
Correct your spelling
government
support
to commense
for Correct your spelling
commence
sports
and craft section in Correct article usage
the sports
schools
required
skilled teachers which will provide job opportunities for Wrong verb form
requires
the
people who are interested in Correct article usage
apply
arts
and sports
. Besides
, nowadays young people are in the clutches of Correct article usage
a sedentery
sedentery
lifestyle. Correct your spelling
sedentary
As a result
, obesity and lifestyle diseases are prevalent among young
population. Promoting Correct article usage
the young
sports
at school would help to tackle this
issue in
a great Change preposition
to
extend
. Replace the word
extent
Moreover
, learning craft
and Fix the agreement mistake
crafts
arts
would be
help juveniles Unnecessary verb
apply
to
Verb problem
apply
releave
from mental stress caused by Correct your spelling
relieve
release
Correct article usage
a competative
competative
academic system.
In conclusion, providing financial Correct your spelling
competitive
support
to schools
not only help
to identify latent talents but Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
also
enable
more job opportunities. Correct subject-verb agreement
enables
Arts
and sports
in school would promote healthy
lifestyle as well. Ergo, I believe that financial Add an article
a healthy
aids
should be provided to academic institutionsFix the agreement mistake
aid
Submitted by ck.manshad on
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Grammar and Vocabulary
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors, for instance, "amples" should be "ample", "goverments" should be "governments", and "juveniles" over "young ones" for consistency. Regularly proofreading can help identify and rectify these mistakes.
Coherence and Cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your arguments by structuring paragraphs around a single main idea. Begin with a clear topic sentence, follow up with explanations, examples, and conclude with a summary sentence that relates back to your overall essay point.
Task Response
You've done well in providing relevant examples to support your viewpoints. To further strengthen your essay, delve deeper into the implications and benefits. For instance, when citing Sachin Tendulkar's example, briefly discuss the broader impact of early talent identification in sports.