The pie chart compare people travel to a university for work or study by differet vehicles

The pie chart compare people travel to a university for work or study by differet vehicles
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The pie chart compare people travel to a university for work or study by differet vehicles
The pie chart
compare
Change the verb form
compares
show examples
the proportion of people visiting
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
a university for work or study by different five vehicles
named
Verb problem
apply
show examples
bus, bicycle , car , train and walking in the years 2004 and 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that the bus transportation most preferred to travel
university
Change preposition
to university
show examples
than others in both years,
while
Linking Words
the train had a lower percentage . In 2004, the method of bus transportation had the most significant proportion, representing %33 of the total. And, it increased to %46 in 2009.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the car
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
transportation method experienced a dramatic decline over the 6 yet of the period and it dropped to %28 in 2009 from just over
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half in 2004 . Looking at details, the figure for walking had
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
steady growth, accounting for %4 and %6 .
Additionally
Linking Words
, in 2004, nine out of every hundred people preferred to ride
bicycle
Add an article
a bicycle
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it grew up to 16 in 2009.
Finally
Linking Words
,
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
used
Add an article
the train
a train
show examples
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
to
went
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
to university the lowest percentage in both years, reaching %3 and %4 respectively.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "compare" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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