Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Some people think that studying with mixed genders is more beneficial for
children
, while
others think that single gender
Add a hyphen
single-gender
schools
are more effective than mixed schools
.
On the one hand, when boys and girls attend separate schools
, they will spend more time focusing on their studies
. This
is because there will not be any opposite gender to be attracted to and to get involved in any affairs. The schooling hours will be fully utilised to learn something rather than being diverted from studies
and spending time with the ones they might have affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
with in
the Correct your spelling
within
school
. For example
, in Nepal, students from St. Mary’s Girls School
showed a better academic performance than the girls who completed their school
years from
a co-educational institution. Change preposition
at
However
, I believe that children
attending mixed school
will learn to be more social in the future.
On the other hand
, co-education is more beneficial for children
because they will learn some social skills during their school
years. This
is to say that children
of both genders will be allowed to have combined studies
and will learn how to deal politely with a person of the opposite sex, an important skill which is highly accepted by society. For example
, boys who finished their studies
at co-educational schools
showed more courtesy towards ladies by offering some help when required. For
this
reason, it is better for children
to attend mixed schools
as it helps them to learn essential social skills.
In conclusion, both of these mixed-gender schools
offer unique advantages and disadvantages. This
kind of school
can be a reason for getting involved in any affairs. However
, co-education is more educational for all students because they need more offline classes and they will learn social skills for it.Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on refining the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay generally follows a logical structure, a clearer progression of ideas and smoother transitions would improve readability.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay successfully discusses both views and provides your own opinion. However, ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and comprehensive throughout. Adding depth to some of your points, especially in the second body paragraph, will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
You have appropriately discussed both perspectives on the topic and included your own opinion, which meets the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument, enhancing the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
The examples used in your essay are relevant and help to support your main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
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