Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that studying with mixed genders is more beneficial for
children
,
while
others think that
single gender
Add a hyphen
single-gender
show examples
schools
are more effective than mixed
schools
. On the one hand, when boys and girls attend separate
schools
, they will spend more time focusing on their
studies
.
This
is because there will not be any opposite gender to be attracted to and to get involved in any affairs. The schooling hours will be fully utilised to learn something rather than being diverted from
studies
and spending time with the ones they might have
affair
Fix the agreement mistake
affairs
show examples
with in
Correct your spelling
within
show examples
the
school
.
For example
, in Nepal, students from St. Mary’s Girls
School
showed a better academic performance than the girls who completed their
school
years
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
a co-educational institution.
However
, I believe that
children
attending mixed
school
will learn to be more social in the future.
On the other hand
, co-education is more beneficial for
children
because they will learn some social skills during their
school
years.
This
is to say that
children
of both genders will be allowed to have combined
studies
and will learn how to deal politely with a person of the opposite sex, an important skill which is highly accepted by society.
For example
, boys who finished their
studies
at co-educational
schools
showed more courtesy towards ladies by offering some help when required.
For
this
reason, it is better for
children
to attend mixed
schools
as it helps them to learn essential social skills. In conclusion, both of these mixed-gender
schools
offer unique advantages and disadvantages.
This
kind of
school
can be a reason for getting involved in any affairs.
However
, co-education is more educational for all students because they need more offline classes and they will learn social skills for it.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance the coherence and cohesion of your essay, focus on refining the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. While your essay generally follows a logical structure, a clearer progression of ideas and smoother transitions would improve readability.
task achievement
In terms of task achievement, your essay successfully discusses both views and provides your own opinion. However, ensure that your arguments are consistently clear and comprehensive throughout. Adding depth to some of your points, especially in the second body paragraph, will make your essay stronger.
task achievement
You have appropriately discussed both perspectives on the topic and included your own opinion, which meets the task requirements well.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and effectively frame your argument, enhancing the overall structure of your essay.
task achievement
The examples used in your essay are relevant and help to support your main points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: