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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many manufactured food and drink contains high levels of sugar, Which cause many health problems. Sugary should be made more expensive to encourage to people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #levels #sugar #health #people
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In contemporary discourse about healthy eating and nutritious food, sugar seems to be deemed as one of the key causes of
health
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 problems. In my opinion, the solution provided above, to make sugary products more expensive in order to discourage
people
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 from buying them is a very logical option. Namely, when
people
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 decide to implement a
change
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 that will improve their
health
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, it usually consists of giving up on comfort. There is a certain level of dopamine that we as
people
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 get consuming our "guilty pleasure foods", and the hardest part about quitting is the fact that the outcome relies completely on our will and mental strength.
Therefore
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, I am sure that for many
people
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 a helpful factor in resisting sugary produce
,
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apply
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 could be the fact that it is not as affordable.
Furthermore
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,
such
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 a
change
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 would easily affect a bigger group of
people
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 and help in countries that generally have a problem with obesity. My stance is that it is better to try and target
such
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 a problem on a general level, rather than trying to reach individuals and attempt to educate them of the
health
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-damaging effects of sugar. If we consider how many
health
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 campaigns exist in the world, trying to inform
people
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 of the
health
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 risks caused
from
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by
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 sugar and the still ongoing severity of the problem, we can conclude that they are not as effective of a solution. In conclusion,
although
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 I do understand that
such
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 a
change
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 could infuriate
people
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, especially those not willing to
change
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 their eating habits,
such
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 a categorical issue can only be solved on a macro level. A positive impact can be achieved, if
this
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 decision were to be carried out, not only on obese
people
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, but
also
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 on an average person.
Submitted by nadja.andric6 on

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content
Support your main points with more specific examples and evidence. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a wider understanding of the topic.
language
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task achievement
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • manufactured food and drinks
  • high levels of sugar
  • health problems
  • consume less sugar
  • sugary products
  • more expensive
  • motivate
  • reduced sugar consumption
  • additional revenue
  • healthcare programs
  • low-income individuals
  • cheaper sugary products
  • education and awareness
  • excessive sugar consumption
  • promoting healthier choices
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