Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?
All humans around the world must be
vegeterians
, Correct your spelling
vegetarians
vegetarian
however
, consume
more Wrong verb form
consuming
meat
can cause
unhealthy Verb problem
be
to
Change preposition
for
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Hence
, I personally, believed
that taking flesh can affect our Wrong verb form
believe
healthy
to a greater extent.I am going to explain some serious diseases caused by eating animals in our Replace the word
health
life
in the forthcoming essay.
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
To begin
with, people who eat vegetables are exempted from getting sick all the time.Additionally
, those who favour beef as well as
chicken are at high risk of unhealthy
.An example to illustrate that could be Add a missing verb
being unhealthy
a
country of India, Correct article usage
the
about
80% of Rephrase
where about
their
population Change the word
the
living
older because Wrong verb form
lives
there
are mostly vegetarians.Correct pronoun usage
they
Thus
, those who always craving for steak, they always been admitted to hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
due to
diseases such
as obesity, high blood pressure as well
as
diabetes.Correct word choice
and
Therefore
, this
is clear that animal flesh can affect people's health system
.
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
Moreover
, the population should take veggies instead
of smashing kentucky
.Change the capitalization
Kentucky
Furthermore
, vegetables also
help to
our immune system to function well, one can admit that to be a vegetarian it's a better idea rather than ingest more Change preposition
apply
meat
.For instance
, nurses and doctors praise all patients who are consuming a
Correct article usage
apply
veggie
in their diet almost every day.Since Fix the agreement mistake
veggies
meat
can cause human hearts
Fix the agreement mistake
heart
mulfunctioning
, Correct your spelling
malfunctioning
therefore
, one can not deny that steak seriously affects human lives.
To conclude
, being a vegetarian it's healthier compared to those who smash meat
.I also
believe that,
eating Remove the comma
apply
meat
can cause serious health problems to a larger extent.Submitted by cajaah93 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Focus on organizing your ideas clearly and logically. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea.
coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. Both should be clear and direct, summarizing your argument effectively at the beginning and end of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. Avoid general statements and try to include detailed examples that clearly illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly state your position and extend your argument across the essay, making sure to cover the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Avoid overly complex or repetitive sentences. Instead, aim for clear and direct statements that convey your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. General statements are less convincing than examples and evidence drawn from studies, statistics, or personal experiences.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?