Everyone of us should become a vegetarian because eating meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do yo agree or disagree?

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All humans around the world must be
vegeterians
Correct your spelling
vegetarians
vegetarian
,
however
Linking Words
,
consume
Wrong verb form
consuming
show examples
more
meat
Use synonyms
can
cause
Verb problem
be
show examples
unhealthy
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
Hence
Linking Words
, I personally,
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that taking flesh can affect our
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
to a greater extent.I am going to explain some serious diseases caused by eating animals in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
in the forthcoming essay.
To begin
Linking Words
with, people who eat vegetables are exempted from getting sick all the time.
Additionally
Linking Words
, those who favour beef
as well as
Linking Words
chicken are at high risk of
unhealthy
Add a missing verb
being unhealthy
show examples
.An example to illustrate that could be
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country of India,
about
Rephrase
where about
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80% of
their
Change the word
the
show examples
population
living
Wrong verb form
lives
show examples
older because
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are mostly vegetarians.
Thus
Linking Words
, those who always craving for steak, they always been admitted to
hospital
Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
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due to
Linking Words
diseases
such
Linking Words
as obesity, high blood pressure
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
diabetes.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
is clear that animal flesh can affect people's health
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the population should take veggies
instead
Linking Words
of smashing
kentucky
Change the capitalization
Kentucky
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, vegetables
also
Linking Words
help
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
our immune system to function well, one can admit that to be a vegetarian it's a better idea rather than ingest more
meat
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, nurses and doctors praise all patients who are consuming
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
veggie
Fix the agreement mistake
veggies
show examples
in their diet almost every day.Since
meat
Use synonyms
can cause human
hearts
Fix the agreement mistake
heart
show examples
mulfunctioning
Correct your spelling
malfunctioning
,
therefore
Linking Words
, one can not deny that steak seriously affects human lives.
To conclude
Linking Words
, being a vegetarian it's healthier compared to those who smash
meat
Use synonyms
.I
also
Linking Words
believe that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
eating
meat
Use synonyms
can cause serious health problems to a larger extent.

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
Work on your introduction and conclusion. Both should be clear and direct, summarizing your argument effectively at the beginning and end of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Support your main points with specific examples and evidence. Avoid general statements and try to include detailed examples that clearly illustrate your arguments.
task achievement
Ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. Clearly state your position and extend your argument across the essay, making sure to cover the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
Strive for clarity in expressing your ideas. Avoid overly complex or repetitive sentences. Instead, aim for clear and direct statements that convey your arguments effectively.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific, relevant examples to strengthen your arguments. General statements are less convincing than examples and evidence drawn from studies, statistics, or personal experiences.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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