IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people prefer to listen to music while studying, as music has a calming effect on the mind. Others prefer a pin drop silence in order to concentrate on the content they are studying and have an undivided attention while they do so. Which option works better for you and why do you think the other option is not viable to ensure a successful study time?

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Introduction
Nowadays
people
Use synonyms
 especially students are trying to find
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to stay concentrated
while
Linking Words
 studying and try different methods to do
this
Linking Words
.
Body paragraph 1
One of
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 methods
Change the verb form
is
show examples
are listen
Change the verb form
are listening
show examples
 to
music
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 studying.
Body paragraph 2
Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that listening to
music
Use synonyms
is keeping
Wrong verb form
keeps
show examples
 them more concentrated and has a calming effect on the mind,
Correct word choice
while other
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 prefer to study in a
pin drop
Replace the word
dropped
show examples
 silence as they
doesn't
Change the verb form
don't
show examples
 want to
loose
Replace the word
lose
show examples
 their attention.
Body paragraph 3
In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will argue which
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
show examples
 works best for me and why the other option is not acceptable for successful preparation.
Body paragraph 4
Firstly
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 like to listen to
music
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 studying as they find
studying
Correct article usage
the studying
show examples
 process less
stressfull
Correct your spelling
stressful
 by doing that and they find it enhancing. It is
proved
Correct your spelling
proven
show examples
 that relaxing
music
Use synonyms
 can help
people
Use synonyms
 stay concentrated for a long
time
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 keeping their
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 open and bright.
This
Linking Words
 is called Mozart's effect.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
this
Linking Words
 doesn't work for everyone, for
people
Use synonyms
 like me. Some
people
Use synonyms
 are having trouble
to concentrate
Change the verb form
concentrating
show examples
,
start
Wrong verb form
starting
show examples
 and
keep
Verb problem
apply
show examples
studying for hours,
this
Linking Words
 type of
Use synonyms
people
Fix the agreement mistake
person
show examples
 can be easily distracted
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 very little noise.
Body paragraph 5
Furthermore
Linking Words
, some
people
Use synonyms
 need much more
time
Use synonyms
 to get engaged with the
studying
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
topic and learn it properly as every single person has a different way of understanding.
Body paragraph 6
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 when I try to study 
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
 subject it must be
quite
Correct your spelling
quiet
show examples
 all
time
Use synonyms
 if I hear a sound I
started
Wrong verb form
start
show examples
 to
thing
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 different things and
going
Wrong verb form
go
show examples
 far away from the topic.
Body paragraph 7
In my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
music
Use synonyms
 is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to relax, but not for studying because it keeps you busy with the
lyrc
Correct your spelling
lyric
lyrics
 and trying to sing the song so
this
Linking Words
 can
distrub
Correct your spelling
disturb
 your studying process.
Body paragraph 8
In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
 listening to
music
Use synonyms
 is a good and
peacefull
Correct your spelling
peaceful
 activity, but not on the studying
time
Use synonyms
.
Conclusion
It is good to relax after
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard brainstorming and
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard
study work
Replace the word
studying
show examples
.

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task achievement
Your essay provides a reasonable discussion on your preference for studying in silence, yet more specific examples could enhance your argument. Consider including personal anecdotes or citing studies that support your viewpoint to strengthen your case.
coherence cohesion
The organization of your essay is generally clear, but some paragraphs could be developed further for cohesion. For example, the transition between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother with the use of linking expressions such as 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' or 'Meanwhile,' which helps guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
In order to improve your score, strive for a clearer introduction that outlines the points you will cover. Your conclusion could be strengthened by summarizing your main arguments more precisely. This provides a more satisfying closure to your essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive functions
  • memory retention
  • minimizing distractions
  • concentration level
  • nature of the task
  • preferences
  • processing
  • instrumental
  • classical music
  • verbal processing
  • communal study areas
  • personalized
  • distraction-free zone
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