Some people think that technology is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Others argue that the opposite is true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In today's world,
technology
has become easily accesible
for all Correct your spelling
accessible
the
individuals. Correct article usage
apply
Propenents
believe that the Correct your spelling
Proponents
rise
of global digitization has increased the gap
between rich and poor while
the
opponents argue that it brought Correct article usage
apply
people
closer to each other. I believe that the latter opinion is true and think that it is one of the things which connects individuals together.
Firstly
, many people
believe that the rise
of new technology
like artifical
intelligence created a Correct your spelling
artificial
gap
between rich and poor. New products such
as Apple vision
Pro which is a new advanced Capitalize word
Vision
artifical
intelligence tool Correct your spelling
artificial
costs
a lot of money and Wrong verb form
cost
it
can be afforded by only rich Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
. Also
, there are many digital applications which are difficult to understand on how to use it and some people
think that the illiterates are not better equipped to use the technology
. As a result
, it has created a huge gap
between the two sections of people
.
On the other hand
, the rise
of social media has become a
increasingly popular among all Change the article
apply
the
sections of Correct article usage
apply
people
.For example
, facebook
and Capitalize word
Facebook
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
has
brought Change the verb form
have
people
more
closer together which eliminates the Change the word
apply
gap
between rich and poor. Nowadays, almost all the
Correct article usage
apply
people
have access to the internet and they can learn about all the new digital products which are introduced around the world. This
helps people
from all sections have
updated with all the latest new advanced Verb problem
be
technology
.
To sum up
, although
there are many digital products which can not be afforded by some people
, I strongly believe that the rise
of technology
has brought people
more
closer together and connected with each other.Change the word
apply
Submitted by raghavender1197 on
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task achievement
Work on expanding your examples to fully illustrate your points. Include more detailed explanations about how technology, for instance social media platforms, mitigates the wealth disparity.
coherence cohesion
Pay closer attention to your grammar and punctuation. Errors such as 'Propenents' should be 'Proponents,' and 'artifical' should be 'artificial.' Moreover, maintain consistency in verb tenses throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Strive for clearer organization in your paragraphs. Each should start with a clear topic sentence, followed by supporting sentences, and ideally, a concluding or transition sentence to the next paragraph.
task achievement
Enhance your argument's clarity by directly addressing how each point supports your overall stance. Use phrases like 'This indicates that...' or 'Therefore, it's evident that...' to connect your evidence back to your thesis more clearly.