IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some believe that students should begin learning a language very early in school while others think these subjects should be taught later. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

#believe #students #language #school #subjects
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Learning a
language
 in the early
years
 of school is said to be beneficial to students whilst other people believe that languages should be introduced later on when students have acquired knowledge of other
subjects
. I am of the view that a
language
 should be
one
 of the first
subject
Fix the agreement mistake
subjects
show examples
 to be taught in the early
years
 and to be perfected as the
years
 of learning
progresses
Correct subject-verb agreement
progress
show examples
.
A
Correct article usage
Language
show examples
language
 can be
one
 of the most difficult
subjects
 that a student could come across as it might be foreign to them. If
one
 does not use that particular
language
 in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
, they will need more time to understand the basics and
then
 get used to it for them to be fluent
hence
 the need to start early on.
One
 can
also
 argue that other
subjects
 like mathematics, history, geography and so many others are usually taught in English in many countries all over the world so there is
need
Correct article usage
a need
show examples
to begin
 with English
language
 amongst other languages so that students can immensely understand all those other
subjects
.
However
, a
language
 can be introduced in the later
years
 of learning.
This
 is so because there is a need to understand
basics
Correct article usage
the basics
show examples
 of learning which is acquired when
one
 fully understands other
subjects
 which are basics like writing and reading. A student will have to learn how to read and write the things they fully understand before being introduced to more complex
subjects
such
 as languages. I could argue that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 the better when it comes to fully grasping the complexity of a
language
. When the
years
 of learning
progresses
Change the verb form
progress
show examples
one
 will
therefore
 be able to speak, read and write if only they started to learn early.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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task achievement
Consider starting with a clearer thesis statement to direct your argument. This will also enhance your introduction and conclusion, making your position and reasoning clearer from the outset.
task achievement
Elaborate on your main points by providing more specific examples and evidence. This could involve citing statistics, quoting expert opinions, or using hypothetical scenarios to make your points more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Try to structure your essay with clearer paragraphs, each devoted to a specific point. Use topic sentences to introduce the point of each paragraph, and ensure there is a logical flow from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, use transitional phrases to connect ideas within paragraphs and to link paragraphs to each other. This will make your essay easier to follow and reinforce the relationships between your ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • cultural awareness
  • effective language acquisition
  • early exposure
  • natural pronunciation
  • intonation
  • foundational literacy skills
  • multilingual education
  • intensive study
  • foundational understanding
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