Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

In these modern days,

people

Use synonyms

's love for

music

Use synonyms

has united them with others who have different cultures and ages.

However

Linking Words

, I personally agree with

this

Linking Words

statement as

music

Use synonyms

has become a tool that can be utilized to unite

people

Use synonyms

for some reasons which are set out below. Everyone has a different taste in

music

Use synonyms

, and there are different types of

music

Use synonyms

genres,

such

Linking Words

as K-pop, J-pop, Rock, Lofi, Jazz, and so on. Finding something in common will help them to build a relationship with others.

For instance

Linking Words

, K-Poppers' fans can somehow manage to interact with each other globally with the help of the internet, and some of them even become

friends

Use synonyms

, in spite of their age and cultural differences. They even can form a fan group about a certain artist with strangers to fangirl over

this

Linking Words

idol and to defend

this

Linking Words

idol if they get hate comments from other fan groups. Other than contemporary

music

Use synonyms

, traditional

music

Use synonyms

has

also

Linking Words

helped

people

Use synonyms

to connect with a foreign culture. The curiosity of someone to learn about other traditional

music

Use synonyms

will open the opportunity to find new

friends

Use synonyms

and community.

For example

Linking Words

, a year ago, there was a viral video where an American was singing an Indonesian folk song. He

then

Linking Words

told the media that his love for Indonesia's art had attracted local children to teach him the culture's

music

Use synonyms

. Long story short, the Indonesians loved him for his interest in the country's cultures, and he ended up with some new

friends

Use synonyms

. Ultimately, it seems to me that

music

Use synonyms

has brought

people

Use synonyms

together globally. Through engaging it, individuals can find new

friends

Use synonyms

and build relationships.

riani.the2Thu Nov 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Expand on the examples by adding more details or another example to provide a broader view.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is clear, you could refine the transition between ideas to further enhance cohesion.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction clearly outlines your agreement and sets up reasons that will be discussed.

relevant specific examples

You provided specific examples, like the K-Poppers and the viral video about an Indonesian folk song, which support your points well.

logical structure

There is a logical progression of ideas, making the essay easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that organizations that use petroleum should be taxed more than those who use renewable energy sources. This essay completely agrees with the statement because it reduces pollution and is economically beneficial to the government.
6.5
band
Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?
Parenting classes have become increasingly advocated as a means to support the development of children. These courses aim to equip parents with essential skills and knowledge to navigate the complexities of child-rearing effectively. While some argue that parenting comes naturally and may not necessitate formal instruction, others contend that structured guidance can greatly benefit both parents and children alike.
6
band
These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?
A general ago, teaching in a high school was considered an extremely well-respected and popular job, and in some countries this is still true. However, in many parts of the world, there has been a sharp drop in the number of young people who want to become highschool teachers. This essay will look at the reasons for this and propose some solutions.
6.5
band
Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Recently, because of crucial changes in the environment, the homeostasis of our world is compromised. As a result, a lot of creatures are close to extinction but there are other major issues that have to be faced.
6.5
band
climate change is the biggest threat facing humanity today and in order to survive as a species we need to act now. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
Everyone knows that climate change will cause relevant problems and difficulties for nature, individuals and society. Some people even argue that our species will become extinct due to the consequences of climate change, if we don’t do anything against it. I agree with this opinion and this essay will outline the arguments why.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Companies that use fossil fuels should be taxed more than companies that use green energies. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?

These days, in many countries, fewer and fewer people want to become teachers, particularly in secondary schools. What are the reasons for this, and how could the problem be solved?

Some people say the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

climate change is the biggest threat facing humanity today and in order to survive as a species we need to act now. to what extent do you agree or disagree?