IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people work from home using modern technology today. Some people think that only the workers benefit from this and not the employer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent days, working at
home
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 isn't weird anymore. Many
workers
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 are working at their
home
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, but some people think
this
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 is only beneficial to
employees
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. In my opinion, working at
home
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 with
Add an article
the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 is helpful for both
workers
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 and
employers
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 for two reasons.
Firstly
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,
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the perspective of
employers
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, if
employees
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 work remotely, that can help reduce resources
such
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 as electricity, water, etc. We use a
lot
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 of things in our daily lives. Let's make an example. Today, I drank about 1.5
liters
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litres
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 of water, and I used one fork. I spent 4 hours
to play
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playing
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 a video game and I washed my hands a few times. I didn't even count every resource that I spent, but I used a
lot
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. There are a
lot
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 of people in a company and they will spend a
lot
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 more than me. In
conlusion
Correct your spelling
conclusion
,
employers
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 can spend less money on paying energy
bill
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bills
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.
Secondly
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,
employees
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 can work when they want.
This
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 can stimulate
workers
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' job efficiencies. From my experiences, I used to study when I wanted to. I was spending time
one-third
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with one-third
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 of my friends but I was still better than them. Through
this
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 experience, I thought working smart is better than working hard.
And
Correct word choice
Moreover
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moreover
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,
employers
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 can improve employee satisfaction, leading to lower turnover rates. To summarise, working from
home
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 using recent technology can benefit both
employees
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 and
employers
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.
Due to
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 remort working, we can reduce our energy usage, which can enhance the sustainability. From the perspective of
workers
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, we can rest anytime when we want. Thanks to that, we can increase our creativity during the working process.

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task achievement
To improve your task response, focus on addressing the question more directly. You have provided a viewpoint, but ensure all main points are well-developed and clearly linked to the topic.
coherence cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, refining the logical flow between your paragraphs could help. While you have a logical progression of ideas, ensure each paragraph clearly connects to the next, maintaining a smooth narrative.
task achievement
Enhance the support for your main points with specific, relevant examples throughout the essay. This will help to reinforce your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a clear start and end. This helps set the structure for your argument.
task achievement
You have provided some personal experiences as examples, which adds a personal touch to your essay, making it relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • telecommuting
  • employee productivity
  • cost savings
  • talent pool
  • geographical limitations
  • monitoring productivity
  • company culture
  • employee satisfaction
  • turnover rates
  • communication challenges
  • collaboration
  • efficiency
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
What to do next:
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