IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Has this become a positive or negative development?

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in today's technological world, an individual's lifestyle has changed in various ways, especially in terms of interaction.
this
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 essay will discuss the positive and negative effects. on the one hand, increasing the use of
technology
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 has affected
people
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's lives. consider the time when
people
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 used
latter
Correct article usage
the latter
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 or Animals to transmit messages, but today
people
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 can communicate through smartphones or computers with a few clicks. because of
technology
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, communication is much
more
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apply
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easier for individuals.
Moreover
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, machinery made
also
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 strong long-distance bonds.
people
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 can share a lot of information by posting a video or uploading images on social media,
such
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 as Facebook or Instagram.
by contrast
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, there are a few drawbacks of
technology
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.
for example
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, more use of smartphones or computers can be harmful to physical or mental activities.
in addition
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, a student studying abroad misses the time he spends playing with his father and family members.
Furthermore
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, we
also
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considered
Wrong verb form
consider
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 that increasing radiation can be effected on our physical health. so poor societies have difficulty connecting national networks, and low-speed progress in these areas is inevitable. in conclusion,
technology
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 has a lot of advantages but we will consider that it can be harmful to our health. in future,
technology
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 will become more beneficial for children and young adults.

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coherence cohesion
Work on structuring your paragraphs clearly with one main idea per paragraph, supported by examples.
task achievement
Focus on specific examples to support your points. Rather than making general statements, provide clear and detailed examples that directly relate to the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction that outlines the topics to be discussed and a concise conclusion that summarizes your points and states your position.
task achievement
Pay attention to spelling, punctuation, and grammar to enhance the readability and professionalism of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Improve the clarity of your ideas by planning your essay before writing. This will help you create a more logical flow of information.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • technology
  • interact
  • relationships
  • connectivity
  • communication
  • online
  • face-to-face
  • friendships
  • romantic relationships
  • family dynamics
  • positive
  • negative
  • development
  • effects
  • formation
  • ease
  • impacts
  • communities
  • connect
  • interaction
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