Some people think it is better to live in the city while others say the countryside is better. Discuss both attributes and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

The environment of
human
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humans
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is really important. Some residents prefer to live in
subrubs
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suburbs
,
while
living in
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a town's
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town's
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town
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area might be a more appropriate option for other
people
. I believe there are some reasons
can
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that can
show examples
provide a better condition for citizens
instead
of living outside of the city.
This
essay will provide reasons
of
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for
show examples
this
statement.
To begin
with, in
this
hectic world,
people
who
living
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live
show examples
outside of the city might have a peaceful and quiet environment. The noise pollution of the urban areas can be annoying for some
people
,
do
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who do
show examples
not like vibrant situations.
For example
, traffic
congustion
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congestion
, building
constrution
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construction
, late clubs, and
also
crowded streets would make loud noises. Clearly, individuals might need another place to rest and do their tasks
with
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in
show examples
peace.
As a result
, some of them think the rural areas might be
better
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a better
show examples
choise
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choice
choose
to live
.
Change preposition
in.
show examples
On another hand, cities with a wide range of
facilites
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facilities
and various services,
might
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which might
show examples
not
find
Wrong verb form
be found
show examples
in the countryside, can be more popular
to
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with
show examples
the
people
.
Moreover
, these inclouding modern public transportation, huge
hospital
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hospitals
show examples
and health centers, and numerous
entertainment's
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entertainment
show examples
club
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clubs
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which might not compete with the
subrubs
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suburbs
.
In addition
, generally, they tend to relieve their
requirments
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requirements
emmidietally
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emotionally
and with ease like seeing a doctor or having fun.
Conseaquently
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Consequently
, the
citise
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city
would be
better
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a better
show examples
environemnt
Correct your spelling
environment
to respond
their
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to their
show examples
needs. In conclusion,
while
the countryside would be a
silence
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silent
show examples
place for some
people
, I strongly believe the urban areas might be a more satisfying option with the vast majority of facilities and services inside the town.
Submitted by mahdisonbolestan on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The essay lacks a clear structure making it hard for the reader to follow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use paragraphs effectively to separate your ideas. Each paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence and follow with supporting statements.
Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement, ensure you fully develop your points with specific examples. While you mentioned examples, more detail and development would make your argument stronger.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to your spelling, especially the correct spelling of words like 'suburbs', 'construction', and 'immediately', as these mistakes can distract from your argument and reduce the clarity of your ideas.
Task Achievement
To achieve higher levels in Task Achievement, make sure to address all parts of the task equally and give a balanced view before stating your own opinion clearly. This includes discussing both sides of the argument comprehensively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on sentence structure to improve the readability of your essay. Avoid run-on sentences and ensure correct punctuation. This will also help enhance the coherence of your essay.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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