IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES THAT TOOK PLACE IN THREE DIFFERENT AREAS OF CRIME IN NEWPORT CITY CENTER FROM 2003 – 2012

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES THAT TOOK PLACE IN THREE DIFFERENT AREAS OF CRIME IN NEWPORT CITY CENTER FROM 2003 – 2012
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #newport #city #center
The given line graph gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about changes in
burglary
, car theft and robbery in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of Newport
city
Capitalize word
City
show examples
 in the period between 2003 and 2012. Units are measured in hundreds and thousands.
Overall
, there was
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 reduction in
burglary
Correct article usage
the burglary
show examples
 rate.
Additionally
, the amount of crime
such
 as robbery from person had fluctuation and showed the lowest points during the given periods.
According to
 the data, the figure for
burglary
 remained just below 3500 incidents in 2003,
then
 it reached its peak at approximately 3800 in the next year .
However
, in the following four
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the amount of
burglary
 rapidly declined to about 1000.
Finally
, from 2008 to 2012 there was an oscillation.
It is clear that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
number
 of car thefts in the first two
years
 maintained almost the same
number
 of 2800 occurrences, after it gradually declined
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 lowest point
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 just 2000 in 2006 and in the remaining
years
 there was a period of volatility and increased to the almost similar
number
 as in the beginning.
On the other hand
, the trend of robbery showed approximately the same
number
 of just above 500 in the first and the
last
years
, where it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 1000 in 2005 and went down to the lowest point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 500 in 2008.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, years, number with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: