IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES THAT TOOK PLACE IN THREE DIFFERENT AREAS OF CRIME IN NEWPORT CITY CENTER FROM 2003 – 2012

THE CHART BELOW SHOWS THE CHANGES THAT TOOK PLACE IN THREE DIFFERENT AREAS OF CRIME IN NEWPORT CITY CENTER FROM 2003 – 2012
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #newport #city #center
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The given line graph gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about changes in
burglary
Use synonyms
, car theft and robbery in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of Newport
city
Capitalize word
City
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 in the period between 2003 and 2012. Units are measured in hundreds and thousands.
Overall
Linking Words
, there was
dramatically
Replace the word
a dramatic
show examples
 reduction in
Use synonyms
burglary
Correct article usage
the burglary
show examples
 rate.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the amount of crime
such
Linking Words
 as robbery from person had fluctuation and showed the lowest points during the given periods.
According to
Linking Words
 the data, the figure for
burglary
Use synonyms
 remained just below 3500 incidents in 2003,
then
Linking Words
 it reached its peak at approximately 3800 in the next year .
However
Linking Words
, in the following four
Use synonyms
years
Add a comma
years,
show examples
 the amount of
burglary
Use synonyms
 rapidly declined to about 1000.
Finally
Linking Words
, from 2008 to 2012 there was an oscillation.
It is clear that
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of car thefts in the first two
years
Use synonyms
 maintained almost the same
number
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 of 2800 occurrences, after it gradually declined
the
Change preposition
to the
show examples
 lowest point
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 just 2000 in 2006 and in the remaining
years
Use synonyms
 there was a period of volatility and increased to the almost similar
number
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 as in the beginning.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the trend of robbery showed approximately the same
number
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 of just above 500 in the first and the
last
Linking Words
years
Use synonyms
, where it peaked
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 about 1000 in 2005 and went down to the lowest point
at
Change preposition
of
show examples
 500 in 2008.
Submitted by ina1_95 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words burglary, years, number with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "declined" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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