Films can have effect on children’s education and teach them many things. Do you think it is always a positive influence. Discuss.
There is no doubt that these days different movies could affect children's education. The question is whether
this
is a negative or positive influence. In this
essay, I am going to discuss both the downsides and upsides of this
topic. In addition
, I will give my own opinion.
In terms of the positive side, films could effectively teach kids. The main reason given to support this
claim is that some types of videos - like documentaries and educational films - could be very useful in letting children receive different information more easily. This
is usually done via various strategies such
as animation, fictional characters, talking animals, superhero scientists, etc... To illustrate, I used to watch such
films when I was young, which led me to love science, be always curious about different subjects in life, and always ask questions to understand.
On the other hand
, some motion pictures are not so effective and may even lead to negative consequences on kids' health. Firstly
, sex movies or any kind of cinema that promotes any sexual topic has only one effect: destroy children’s lives and utterly distract them. Secondly
, short videos (or "TikToks" as we call them) were scientifically proven to deflect kids' attention, as they destroy the brain's ability to focus. For instance
, my 7-year-old brother suffered a lot of not being able to focus because of the TikToks, even though some of the videos that he watched were useful.
In conclusion, although
movies may have some advantages, I believe that their downsides outweigh their upsides. Furthermore
, I believe that the best way to learn is the old-school way: grabbing a physical book and reading it carefully. This
is - in my opinion - the most effective way to learn in addition
to not having any disadvantages as other ways do.Submitted by menagouda24 on
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Task Achievement
Ensure a balanced discussion by equally addressing both sides of the argument, providing an in-depth analysis into how films can both positively and negatively influence children's education. Your essay somewhat leans towards the negative aspects, potentially unbalancing the discussion.
Task Achievement
Expand on the specific examples you provide by explaining how they directly support your main points. While you do give personal and anecdotal evidence, elaborating on these with more detail or including studies or statistics could strengthen your argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve logical structure, consider using more varied transitional phrases to smoothly link ideas between paragraphs and within them. This will aid in guiding the reader through your argument more cohesively.
Introduction & Conclusion Presence
In your conclusion, directly address the essay question again to clearly state your stance, ensuring it reflects the discussion provided in your body paragraphs. This helps in reaffirming your position to the reader.
Supported Main Points
Occasionally revisit your sentence structures and vocabulary to ensure variety and complexity. While your essay demonstrates a good range of language, further diversifying your linguistic choices can enhance the overall readability and sophistication of your writing.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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