IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say it is more important to plant trees in the open spaces in towns and cities than to build more housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #plant #trees #spaces #towns #cities
Nowadays, many humans think that planting
trees
 in open
spaces
 in towns and
cities
 is more important than building new and modern
houses
. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. In my view,
this
 is right and I will support
this
 view with arguments in the following paragraphs. Some people believe that planting
trees
 in open
spaces
 in
cities
 and towns is more important than building
houses
. Let us take a look at it. In my opinion,
this
 work is right as planting
trees
 and bushes
useful
Add a missing verb
is useful
show examples
 for people, for children and for animals too. If we magnify
trees
 and bushes they are
lots of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
swallowing harmful gases else
distributes
Correct subject-verb agreement
distribute
show examples
 useful gases into the air
as a result
 the air is purified. I do not see harm in
this
 view. I think the benefits of building modern and new
houses
 in open
spaces
 in
cities
 and villages are less.
However
, it has some benefits.
Such
 as building new
houses
 attention and population are growing but the harm is so much. If the population increases fresh air and the environment can be damaged.
As a result
, many humans are poisoned. Many animals may
also
 decline. Nowadays lots of countries have modern
houses
 and their numbers in increasing,
that is
 why, we should facilitate
trees
 and bushes in open areas. In summary, planting
trees
 in open
spaces
 in villages and
cities
 is more important than building
houses
 and we have to try it.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
Ensure a clear and explicit thesis statement expressing your viewpoint in the introduction. This will guide the reader through your essay and clarify your stance on the issue from the outset.
task achievement
Support your main ideas with specific examples and detailed explanations. This enriches your argument and makes it more convincing to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each representing a single main idea. This helps in maintaining logical flow and coherence throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively within and across paragraphs. Using a variety of transition words and phrases will enhance the cohesion of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Revisit your conclusion to make it more robust. Summarize your key arguments and restate your stance clearly, reinforcing the significance of your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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