Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Housing scarcity in metropolitan cities has caused a critical impact on society. Some

people

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believed that the

government

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's action would be the only solution to tackle

this

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issue. I wholeheartedly agree, and

this

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essay will explain how

government

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action through policymaking and collaboration could solve that. Regarding

this

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, it is the

government

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's responsibility to provide affordable housing for society through regulation and policy. Since it can be caused by the increasing number of temporary accommodations owned by private sectors, the

government

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should control it, one of which is through a policy called progressive tax. In Indonesia,

for instance

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this

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policy caused the

people

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who already owned a building would think twice to purchase a property or a land since the tax would be doubled. If the policymakers can create

such

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conditions to control the landlord, it will bring equal opportunity to possess a permanent home. Another way to tackle the housing crisis is through collaboration with the communities and developers. It needs to be taken into account that

this

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crisis is happening

due to

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a shortage of land available,

hence

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another thing that could be done by the

government

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is collaborating with private sectors who already own the land. The

government

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could municipalize buildings and offer substantial amounts of subsidies for the

people

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For example

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, some of the apartments called 'Rusun / Rumah Susun' in Jakarta were previously owned and run by the private sector before the municipalisation by the

government

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. It offers cheap to free prices for

people

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from low socioeconomic backgrounds,

therefore

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reducing

number

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a number

the number

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of homeless

people

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. In conclusion, the shortage of housing that currently occurs can be solved by the

government

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While

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the regulation and thorough policymaking process can help, the involvement of private sectors and community organizations can play a critical role in alleviating house shortages.

aldawinonazFri Mar 22 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea you will explore. This helps the reader to easily follow your argumentation.

task achievement

Develop your main points by providing more varied and in-depth examples. While your idea of using 'progressive tax' and 'Rusun / Rumah Susun' as examples are strong, including additional examples from different contexts could enhance the richness of your essay.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to,' can help to link ideas effectively.

task achievement

While your conclusion summarizes the essay well, increasing the depth of analysis in the conclusion could strengthen your position. Summarize not only what has been discussed but also suggest implications or recommendations for the future.

task achievement

Deepen the analysis of your arguments by considering counterarguments or challenges to your view. This can show a comprehensive understanding of the issue and enhance the persuasive power of your essay.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

300 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

affordable housing
urban planning
policies
funding
private sector
community organizations
public-private partnerships
innovative solutions
market demands
financially viable
socioeconomic factors
income inequality
migration
urbanization
concerted efforts

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Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

People believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn and should not pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?