Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Housing scarcity in metropolitan cities has caused a critical impact on society. Some
people
believed that the
government
's action would be the only solution to tackle
this
issue. I wholeheartedly agree, and
this
essay will explain how
government
action through policymaking and collaboration could solve that. Regarding
this
, it is the
government
's responsibility to provide affordable housing for society through regulation and policy. Since it can be caused by the increasing number of temporary accommodations owned by private sectors, the
government
should control it, one of which is through a policy called progressive tax. In Indonesia,
for instance
,
this
policy caused the
people
who already owned a building would think twice to purchase a property or a land since the tax would be doubled. If the policymakers can create
such
conditions to control the landlord, it will bring equal opportunity to possess a permanent home. Another way to tackle the housing crisis is through collaboration with the communities and developers. It needs to be taken into account that
this
crisis is happening
due to
a shortage of land available,
hence
another thing that could be done by the
government
is collaborating with private sectors who already own the land. The
government
could municipalize buildings and offer substantial amounts of subsidies for the
people
.
For example
, some of the apartments called 'Rusun / Rumah Susun' in Jakarta were previously owned and run by the private sector before the municipalisation by the
government
. It offers cheap to free prices for
people
from low socioeconomic backgrounds,
therefore
reducing
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of homeless
people
. In conclusion, the shortage of housing that currently occurs can be solved by the
government
.
While
the regulation and thorough policymaking process can help, the involvement of private sectors and community organizations can play a critical role in alleviating house shortages.
Submitted by aldawinonaz on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that states the main idea you will explore. This helps the reader to easily follow your argumentation.
task achievement
Develop your main points by providing more varied and in-depth examples. While your idea of using 'progressive tax' and 'Rusun / Rumah Susun' as examples are strong, including additional examples from different contexts could enhance the richness of your essay.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. Using phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' or 'In addition to,' can help to link ideas effectively.
task achievement
While your conclusion summarizes the essay well, increasing the depth of analysis in the conclusion could strengthen your position. Summarize not only what has been discussed but also suggest implications or recommendations for the future.
task achievement
Deepen the analysis of your arguments by considering counterarguments or challenges to your view. This can show a comprehensive understanding of the issue and enhance the persuasive power of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable housing
  • urban planning
  • policies
  • funding
  • private sector
  • community organizations
  • public-private partnerships
  • innovative solutions
  • market demands
  • financially viable
  • socioeconomic factors
  • income inequality
  • migration
  • urbanization
  • concerted efforts
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