Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There is a concept adopted by many individuals that says that attending

events

Use synonyms

is better than watching them on

television

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. From my perspective, I significantly disagree with

this

Linking Words

view because I believe that live

events

Use synonyms

are less flexible to return them when you can or want, and watching at home is cheaper than attending a live

performance

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. In the beginning, watching

events

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television

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as I said in the introduction, is more flexible and gives you the freedom to watch them at any time,

as a result

Linking Words

, you don't have to delay your work or your tasks to have fun by attending

events

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For instance

Linking Words

, three years ago, there was a music concert and the audience was stuck in bad traffic which made them on the road from after the party to 10 am, so certainly they missed their mission.

Additionally

Linking Words

, watching shows on

television

Use synonyms

does not cost a huge investment compared to the other

method

Fix the agreement mistake

methods

show examples

. Which makes us able to save our money for more important things. But I should say that there are some

events

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that are free or cost a tiny amount of money.

Furthermore

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, in my opinion, it is comfortable so, you can wear what you want and eat your regular snacks

while

Linking Words

watching,

this

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point does not happen in a live

performance

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For example

Linking Words

, in a live

performance

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usually, cameras are in all places which makes people worry about their looks or some humans do not like to take a picture of them. In conclusion, there are many reasons that make me lean toward watching

performance

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television

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. It is flexible to return

also

Linking Words

, it is cheaper and it is more comfortable.

Consequently

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, I completely disagree with those people.

Abeer Mon May 05 2025

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Coherence and Cohesion

Work on creating a clearer introduction that outlines your main points. Consider directly stating your view about live performances versus watching on television.

Coherence and Cohesion

In your body paragraphs, try to structure them more clearly: each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and then a few sentences that support that idea.

Task Achievement

Expand on your examples to make them more detailed. For instance, explain more about the music concert incident or how it impacted people's choices.

Task Achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for task achievement.

Task Achievement

You provide relevant examples that relate to your main points, which strengthens your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

284 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

live performance
unique and energetic
sense of community
screen
editing
post-production
authentic experience
convenience
visibility
real-time commentary
expert analysis
understanding and appreciation
prohibitive
accessible option
wider audiences

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Fully explain your ideas

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