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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

People are living in a “throw-away society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

#people #“throw-away #society” #time
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In today's advance of industry, we can see there are still growing
products
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 in our society that only can be used
one
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time
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 or
non-recycle
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.
This
Linking Words
comes
Verb problem
leads
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 to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
inconvenient
 idea that
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one
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 used
products
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 are
those product
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
 that can only be used once and after these
used
Add a missing verb
are used
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,
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 will be thrown away;
However
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 concept has some causes and
also
Linking Words
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
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 to certain problems. The term
of
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apply
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"Throw-away society" became known as those
community
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communities
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 that often use
products
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 that can only be used once because they think that those
products
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 are compatible and
convenience
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convenient
show examples
 for them. Nearly 50% of the
products
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exist
Correct pronoun usage
that exist
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nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
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 are
non-recycle
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. Some of the
example
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examples
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 of these
products
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 are plastic cups, straws, beverage cans, food cups, some hotel toiletries, etc. Most of
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one
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
time
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used
Verb problem
apply
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products
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invented
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were invented
show examples
 to create an easy way for consumers so that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
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 bring their food or beverage anywhere in handy. Regardless of
this
Linking Words
 invention and their functions in
the
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apply
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humankind, these
type
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types
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 of
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products
Change the noun form
product
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waste
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 can lead to several
problem
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problems
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to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
. The number of
non-recycle
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product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 are consistently high in
this
Linking Words
 era which
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
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 that
non-recycle
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products
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has
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have
show examples
 more impact than most
of
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apply
show examples
people know, especially
to
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on
show examples
 the environment.
Scientist
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Scientists
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 found that the changes in
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
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 food chain system and
overall
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 weather are 60% impacted by the
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non-recycle
Correct your spelling
non-recycled
show examples
 product
waste
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 that
scattered
Add a missing verb
is scattered
show examples
 on
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
. The chemical contamination in the water from the
waste
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 and some of the lands in our
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
 that became a
storing
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storage
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 place for
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
waste
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 are evidence of
impact
Add an article
the impact
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 of
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
non-recycle
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products
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.
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
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 believe
this
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 can
distrub
Correct your spelling
destroy
 the ecosystem and create
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
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 for living creatures on
soil
Correct article usage
the soil
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 and
eventually
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eventually,
show examples
 it will distract the
overall
Linking Words
foodchain
Correct your spelling
food chain
show examples
. In conclusion,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
Use synonyms
one
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
time
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 used
products
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 are very useful in our community as it brings convenience, we have to understand the impact of
waste
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of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
products
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 in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. As part of the community, we can contribute by lowering the use of these
Use synonyms
one-
Add a hyphen
one-time-used
show examples
time
Use synonyms
 used
products
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 and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 it will decrease the production of
non-recycle
Use synonyms
products
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 by industries that
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
.
On the other hand
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; Government
also
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 need to contribute to
this
Linking Words
 issue as part of
sutainable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 growth for countries
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on better structuring your essay. You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Try to use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, work on providing a more in-depth analysis of the causes and consequences related to the 'throw-away society'. Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including offering specific examples and discussing both the causes and the resultant problems in detail.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay. Consider reading your essay aloud or using a grammar checking tool to identify and correct these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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