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Band 4.5

People are living in a “throw-away society”, using things for a short time and then throwing them away. What are the causes of this? What problems does it lead to?

#people #“throw-away #society” #time
In today's advance of industry, we can see there are still growing
products
 in our society that only can be used
one
time
 or
non-recycle
.
This
comes
Verb problem
leads
show examples
 to
an
Change the article
a
show examples
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
inconvenient
 idea that
one
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
time
 used
products
 are
those product
Change the determiner
that product
those products
show examples
 that can only be used once and after these
used
Add a missing verb
are used
show examples
,
those
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 will be thrown away;
However
,
this
 concept has some causes and
also
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to certain problems. The term
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
"Throw-away society" became known as those
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 that often use
products
 that can only be used once because they think that those
products
 are compatible and
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
 for them. Nearly 50% of the
products
exist
Correct pronoun usage
that exist
show examples
nowdays
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
 are
non-recycle
. Some of the
example
Change to a plural noun
examples
show examples
 of these
products
 are plastic cups, straws, beverage cans, food cups, some hotel toiletries, etc. Most of
one
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
time
used
Verb problem
apply
show examples
products
invented
Add a missing verb
were invented
show examples
 to create an easy way for consumers so that they
can
Wrong verb form
could
show examples
 bring their food or beverage anywhere in handy. Regardless of
this
 invention and their functions in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humankind, these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
products
Change the noun form
product
show examples
waste
 can lead to several
problem
Change to a plural noun
problems
show examples
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
. The number of
non-recycle
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 are consistently high in
this
 era which
shown
Wrong verb form
shows
show examples
 that
non-recycle
products
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 more impact than most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people know, especially
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the environment.
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
show examples
 found that the changes in
natural
Correct article usage
the natural
show examples
 food chain system and
overall
 weather are 60% impacted by the
non-recycle
Correct your spelling
non-recycled
show examples
 product
waste
 that
scattered
Add a missing verb
is scattered
show examples
 on
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
. The chemical contamination in the water from the
waste
 and some of the lands in our
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
 that became a
storing
Replace the word
storage
show examples
 place for
these
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
waste
 are evidence of
impact
Add an article
the impact
show examples
 of
long term
Add a hyphen
long-term
show examples
non-recycle
products
.
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
show examples
 believe
this
 can
distrub
Correct your spelling
destroy
 the ecosystem and create
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
show examples
 for living creatures on
soil
Correct article usage
the soil
show examples
 and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 it will distract the
overall
foodchain
Correct your spelling
food chain
show examples
. In conclusion,
altough
Correct your spelling
although
one
Add a hyphen
one-time
show examples
time
 used
products
 are very useful in our community as it brings convenience, we have to understand the impact of
waste
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 these
products
 in
long
Correct article usage
the long
show examples
 term. As part of the community, we can contribute by lowering the use of these
one-
Add a hyphen
one-time-used
show examples
time
 used
products
 and
eventually
Add a comma
eventually,
show examples
 it will decrease the production of
non-recycle
products
 by industries that
involved
Add a missing verb
are involved
show examples
.
On the other hand
; Government
also
 need to contribute to
this
 issue as part of
sutainable
Correct your spelling
sustainable
 growth for countries
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all around the world.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on better structuring your essay. You should ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations. Try to use linking words more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Achievement
For task achievement, work on providing a more in-depth analysis of the causes and consequences related to the 'throw-away society'. Ensure that your response fully addresses all parts of the task, including offering specific examples and discussing both the causes and the resultant problems in detail.
Grammar and Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors to enhance the overall clarity and professionalism of your essay. Consider reading your essay aloud or using a grammar checking tool to identify and correct these mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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