Many people believe that good planning is the key factor to success in life, while others believe that other factors like hard work or luck are important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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To be successful in life, many individuals are of the opinion that having an effective plan is of utmost importance.
However
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, others think that hard work or luck
also
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contributes to success.
This
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essay will examine both perspectives and present a personal stance on the matter. On the one hand, it is my contention that managing a strategic plan plays a vital role in achieving our goals. Regarding the former advantage, wise planning can help people have a suitable direction that they can follow in the future. Arrangements in advance
raised
Wrong verb form
raise
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the sense of initiative,
provide
Correct word choice
and provide
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us
more
Change preposition
with more
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opportunities to examine the benefits and drawbacks of each purpose.
In addition
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, reducing the risks involved is extremely critical.
For example
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, if one desires to have a clothing store, by planning the financial stages
as well as
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economic knowledge, she can decide on the scale of her business and operate it easily.
On the other hand
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, despite the good planning, hard work and luck share equal importance.
To begin
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with, diligence is the first and foremost factor determining one’s success.
This
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quality ensures people pay the most attention to their work and always try their best.
Moreover
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, another element is being fortunate, which helps people have more opportunities to develop. In conclusion, both sides of the argument have their own merits.
However
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, my personal view is that other factors including being industrious and lucky can have a more tangible effect on each individual’s success.
This
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is because they would persevere in what they are doing and seize the opportunity to become successful.
Submitted by nhamthuyhangnth on

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Task Achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed scenarios or data that can illustrate your points vividly. This will not only substantiate your arguments but also make your essay more engaging and informative.
Coherence & Cohesion
Try integrating a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and elevate the cohesion of your essay. While your essay has a good flow, diversifying your transitions can enhance readability and coherence.
General
In the conclusions of your essays, aim to summarize your discussion more succinctly, restating the key arguments in a way that underscores your personal stance unequivocally. This clarity will strengthen the impact of your concluding remarks.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • success
  • good planning
  • goals
  • objectives
  • allocation of resources
  • uncertainty
  • productivity
  • hard work
  • diligence
  • perseverance
  • skill development
  • continuous improvement
  • challenges
  • setbacks
  • luck
  • opportunities
  • favorable circumstances
  • outcome
  • personal opinion
  • crucial
  • unpredictable
  • remain open
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