IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mible phones for communication has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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According to
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 some
people
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, the
Use
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 of mobiles and
computers
Use synonyms
 has negative
effects
Use synonyms
 on young
people
Use synonyms
's reading and writing
skills
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will discuss both the negative and positive
use
Use synonyms
 of
computers
Use synonyms
.I agree with
this
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 idea and in
this
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 essay, I will discuss how it has negative
effects
Use synonyms
.
People
Use synonyms
 increase the
use
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 of electrical
devices
Use synonyms
 because digital alliances have algorithms that keep them engaged with those
devices
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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,
People
Use synonyms
 spend a large amount of their free
time
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 using those
devices
Use synonyms
 , especially young children.
For Instance
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,Studies show that 45% of children who spend the majority of their
time
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 using electrical gadgets in their free
time
Use synonyms
, lose their ability to read and write.So, we can say that computer or phone users easily get trapped by the algorithms that are used by mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 and
computers
Use synonyms
 which weakens the children's ability to read and write.
However
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,
There
Fix capitalization
there
show examples
 are some communities that
use
Use synonyms
computers
Use synonyms
 for learning
skills
Use synonyms
such
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 as reading , writing ,speaking, and listening.But they
also
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 say that it is not an effective method to learn
skills
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.
In addition
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.they
use
Use synonyms
 mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 for communication.
For example
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, More than 75% of
people
Use synonyms
 who learn reading and writing
skills
Use synonyms
 from
computers
Use synonyms
 and other electrical
devices
Use synonyms
, waste their
time
Use synonyms
. At the same
time
Use synonyms
,they
also
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 lose their ability to write and read.
Hence
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,we can say that it has many negative
effects
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, It is clear from the above discussion that
computers
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 have negative
effects
Use synonyms
 on youth who spend most of their free
time
Use synonyms
 using
computers
Use synonyms
 and mobile
phones
Use synonyms
 for any purpose whether it is for communication or for learning
skills
Use synonyms
.

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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. Consider discussing both the positive and negative effects in more detail and perhaps provide a clear stance in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, aim to provide smoother transitions between points and paragraphs. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily. Using cohesive devices like 'furthermore,' 'moreover,' and 'however' effectively can strengthen your essay.
task response
Work on expanding your supporting points and examples. Providing more specific examples or evidence can make your arguments more convincing. Try to integrate real-world examples or statistics to substantiate your points better.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and are clearly linked to the main topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a logical structure, making it easy to follow the writer's arguments.
task response
The main points are relevant to the topic at hand, which makes the essay focused and on topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • brevity
  • abbreviations
  • emoticons
  • literacy
  • spell check
  • predictive text
  • resources
  • content
  • social media
  • forums
  • creative expression
  • multimedia
  • multitasking
  • traditional literacy
  • modern context
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