Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today’s society, environmental
problems
and issues are very big concerns of humankind. Some
people
believe that the major risk is the loss of
species
of
plants
and animals.
However
, others argue that there are bigger
problems
regarding the environment. I strongly agree that we have enormous
problems
rather than losing some
plants
and
species
. In
this
essay, I will explore various dimensions of both opinions and provide an analysis of the statement of the extent to which I support my possession.
Firstly
, throughout human history, many plant
species
have been dismissed from life.
For example
, many thousand years ago, dinosaurs were swept from the earth because of meteor rain,
according to
one of the theories.
Moreover
, since humans started to exist on the earth, many
plants
or animals have gone or evolved into other forms,
such
as dinosaurs, which turned into chickens. Despite the fact that
people
continue their lives and have adapted to the
change
.
Hence
, the more we lose
plants
and
species
, the more humankind implements themselves into new habitats.
Furthermore
,
missing
Correct article usage
the missing
show examples
of some
plants
and animals
are
Verb problem
does
show examples
not have
direct
Add an article
a direct
show examples
effect on
people
. But, we have some significant
problems
, which
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
impact on society.
Such
as climate
change
due to
the increasing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
carbon and sulfur
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
in the atmosphere. Because of their contribution
into
Change preposition
to
show examples
air
Add an article
the air
show examples
,
people
have to breathe polluted air
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
can cause significant, health and
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
problems
.
For instance
, in Gebze
lungs
Change the noun form
lung
show examples
cancer has been
increasingly
Change the adverb
increasing
show examples
day by day, because the factories which are placed around the Gebze, are not using air
filter
Fix the agreement mistake
filters
show examples
and they just release their polluted gas into the atmosphere. Unfortunately,
people
cannot
evolved
Change the verb form
evolve
be evolved
show examples
like other
species
, and directly
impact
Correct subject-verb agreement
impacts
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
hazards and
get
Verb problem
makes them
show examples
sick. In conclusion,
plants
and
species
can lose their evolution
due to
environmental changes or cases, and we might have side effects from that. But climate
change
plays a big role in our society's health. Governments and organizations should consider climate
change
the most important
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
issue for humankind.
Submitted by askinfirataskin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
To enhance your essay's logical structure, ensure that your ideas are presented in a more organized manner. Consider employing clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a clear introduction and conclusion, but strive to more effectively preview your main points in the introduction and succinctly summarize them in the conclusion to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
While you've supported your main points, integrating more varied and detailed examples could strengthen your argument. Try to include specific data or broader case studies to make your examples more compelling.
task achievement
To further improve your task achievement, work on offering a more complete response to the prompt by exploring the different viewpoints in more depth. This could involve analyzing opposing arguments more thoroughly and providing clearer refutations where necessary.
task achievement
Your essay demonstrates clear and comprehensive ideas. To enhance this further, focus on making your argumentation more sophisticated by introducing counter-arguments and demonstrating why your position is more valid or preferrable.
task achievement
You've used relevant specific examples, but expanding on these with additional detail or broader context can make your argument more persuasive. Try to draw on a wider range of sources to provide evidence for your claims.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: