IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.

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The given pie chart demonstrates the
utmost
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
causes
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 worldwide
land
Use synonyms
 degradation and the table chart illustrates three different regions of the planet which were affected by it during the year 1990.
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
over - gazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
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 by animals is the main reason for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
land
Use synonyms
 degradation and 11.3 % of
land
Use synonyms
 in Oceania is
affect
Change the form of the verb
affected
show examples
 by it which is the most compared to other lands .
To begin
Linking Words
 with , 30% and 28 % of
world's
Correct article usage
the world's
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 total
land
Use synonyms
 is degraded by deforestation and
over-
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
cultivation of crops .
Further
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
over - grazing
Correct your spelling
over-grazing
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 by animals, 35% of
land
Use synonyms
 becomes less productive which is the main cause . Apart from these ,
due to
Linking Words
 some other
reasons
Add a comma
reasons,
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 7% of
area
Add an article
the area
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 of the globe was degraded. Discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the table chart , causes
such
Linking Words
 as cutting of trees and growing excess amount of crops had
lead
Wrong verb form
led
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 9.8% and 7.7 % area of Europe to be less productive and it is in high proportion compared to
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two places.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a total of 11.3% of
land
Use synonyms
degraded
Add a missing verb
is degraded
show examples
 in Oceania
due to
Linking Words
over - grazing
Correct your spelling
overgrazing
show examples
 of animals. 5% , 23% and 13% is the total degraded
land
Use synonyms
 in North America, Europe and Oceania respectively.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "due to".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words land with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Agricultural productivity
  • Deforestation
  • Over-cultivation
  • Overgrazing
  • Soil erosion
  • Nutrient depletion
  • Land degradation
  • Soil compaction
  • Fertility
  • Preventive measures
  • Sustainable farming practices
  • Environmental impact
  • Economic implications
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