It is better for university students to live away from home during their university studies rather than staying with their parents. To what extent do you agree or. My inclinations partially line with this thought that students must stay away from home during university studies.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education plays a significant role in
humans
Change the noun form
human
show examples
life . Education is the primary right of human beings . Today's youth is the pillar of the nation . One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is a colossal upsurge in the number of people believing that staying away from
home
during university
studies
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial for
students
. There is a range of conflicting arguments related to
this
assertion. Whether to agree
on
Correct your spelling
or
show examples
not it's a
thought provoking
Add a hyphen
thought-provoking
show examples
question . As far as I can see it's more justified to agree with the notion . In upcoming paragraphs, I will not only
elastrate
Correct your spelling
elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
possible reasons
butolso
Correct your spelling
but also
elaborate
Change preposition
on
show examples
my point of view
,.
Change the punctuation
,
.
show examples
To embark on , if we have a deep look at the assertion we will certainly be able to find a myriad reasons why
good
Change the article
a good
the good
show examples
number of
crowd
Fix the agreement mistake
crowds
show examples
prefer to stay outside during their academic years . The first and foremost reason is pupils who choose to
staying
Change the verb
stay
show examples
away from
home
can
focuse
Correct your spelling
focus
on their
studies
more . They can give their full attention to their
studies
. To elaborate,
while
living with families
students
have to give time and attention to the family which can be
distraction
Add an article
a distraction
show examples
sometimes .
Students
have to
house
Add a missing verb
do house
show examples
chores and other activities .
Therefore
, some
students
prefer to move out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
home
for university
studies
. Another striking reason is ,
staying
Correct word choice
that staying
show examples
away from
home
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
students
freedom to explore
.
Correct your spelling
While
while
staying on
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus pupils have to take care of themselves
Therefore
they become independent and brave . Their communication skill gets better as they meet different
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
from across the globe
while
staying in the hostels .
Last
but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
least, pupils can give more time to their
studies
. As they don't have any family pressure they can get extra classes
attend
Correct word choice
and attend
show examples
extracurricular activities which help them to gain knowledge
as well as
experience .
To conclude
, there is a range of conflicting arguments related
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
issue. Some communities believe that it is beneficial
while
others
thinks
Change the verb form
think
show examples
about the cons .
But
Correct word choice
However
show examples
I Vehemently believe that staying away from
home
is beneficial for
students
.
This
opportunity can help them to grow and gain experience which will be very helpful in
near
Correct article usage
the near
show examples
future.
Submitted by shyamal017 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in Task Achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. This means presenting a more nuanced argument and including specific, detailed examples to support each point of view. Consider both sides of the argument more explicitly before stating your conclusion to make your stance clearer.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay in a more logical structure. Use clear paragraphing, and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Improve transitions between paragraphs and within sentences to guide the reader smoothly from one idea to the next. Also, pay attention to spelling (e.g., 'elaborate', not 'elastrate') and grammar to ensure clear and precise expression of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: