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Band 3.5

Some people think that using mobile phones and computers has a negative effect on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #phones #computers #effect #skills
In today's developing world, we can't imagine our life without mobile services. Currently,
people
 especially young
people
 are using phone and computer tools for a long time In today's developing world, we can't imagine our life without mobile services. Currently,
people
 especially young
people
 have been using phones and computer tools for a long time.
On the other hand
, phones and computers
also
 have harmful sides. Excessive use of these means of communication harms our health,
for example
, decreased eyesight, obesity, decreased blood circulation, etc. It is a very sad situation for children to play games on the phone and computer. In conclusion, there are many good and bad sides to phone computers,
however
, if we use these tools in moderation, their harm will be less.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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Introduction/Conclusion
One of the key elements to enhance your writing is ensuring clear, concise introduction and conclusion paragraphs. The introduction should explicitly state your opinion or the direction of the essay, while the conclusion should summarize your key points and reiterate your main stance or findings.
Coherence
To improve coherence, consider adding more connective words or phrases to better link your ideas together. This will help create a smoother flow of information throughout your essay.
Supporting Points
Further develop your main points by providing more specific examples or elaborating on your ideas. Concrete examples can significantly boost the strength of your argument and make your essay more compelling.
Task Response
Expand your response to cover all aspects of the question. This question asks you to explore the impact on reading and writing skills, but your essay primarily focuses on the general negative effects of mobile phones and computers. Make sure to directly address how these technologies affect young people's reading and writing skills.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive development
  • digital literacy
  • multitasking
  • e-books
  • attention span
  • informal language
  • shorthand
  • interactivity
  • traditional literacy
  • comprehension
  • retention
  • multimedia elements
  • communication platforms
  • formal writing
  • reading habits
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