In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.
Regarding
to
the Remove the preposition
apply
advance
Replace the word
advanced
development
of cities, more and more people
prefer to live in the city
instead
of countryside
. It is true that the Correct article usage
the countryside
raise
of Correct your spelling
rise
urban
population can boost Correct article usage
the urban
Add an article
the country
country
economy,Change noun form
country's
I
still believe that it is more likely to be a negative Correct word choice
but I
development
.
While
city
population see a rise, the Correct article usage
the city
city
itself will gradually become a less suitable place to live. As population
grow, more human activities will be involved in the Correct article usage
the population
city
. These will lead to a
heavier traffic, serious air pollution and Remove the article
apply
severe
lack of job opportunities. Correct article usage
a severe
For example
, in the 19
century, Britain experienced Correct your spelling
19th
a
Change the article
an
industry
revolution, which Replace the word
industrial
offers
more and more Verb problem
caused
people
settling
down in the urban Change the verb form
to settle
area
. Fix the agreement mistake
areas
However
, with the development
of the city
, there are
traffic congestion on the road all day long, followed by the frog caused by car pollution and heavy smoke produced by working factories.
With Change the verb form
is
the
unpleasant living environment, Correct article usage
an
people
are likely to gain illness
mental health. Verb problem
improve
However
, this
is not the only factor that may cause mental disease of
citizens. With a great number of Change preposition
in
people
living in the city
, while
the job appliance declined, pressure
of living will boost. Take Beijing Add an article
the pressure
for example
, as one of the largest city
and the most crowded Fix the agreement mistake
cities
city
in China, there are surveys announced that 80% of college graduates are Fix the agreement mistake
cities
facing
unemployed after Verb problem
apply
graduate
from university. Change the verb form
graduating
Similarly
, as the number of students who can not get a job grow
, more citizens started to visit psychological clinics Wrong verb form
grew
according to
the research.
Consider
Wrong verb form
Considering
about
the rural Change preposition
apply
development
, as less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
choose to stay in the countryside, it is noticeable that the economic badge between rural and urban will see a significant raise
. Correct your spelling
rise
Furthermore
, as the difference between these two place
Change to a plural noun
places
become
bigger, the richer the Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
city
gets, the less
Change the quantifier
fewer
people
will be glad to stay in countryside
. Add an article
the countryside
Therefore
, a negative cycle is formed.
Overall
, after considering the disadvantages in
Change preposition
of
city
development
and mental
health of citizens, I strongly hold the view that Correct article usage
the mental
people
moving from rural to city
is a negative Add an article
the city
development
.Submitted by 1434110674 on
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, providing a roadmap for the reader. Expand your conclusion to summarise your main points effectively, reinforcing your stance.
Logical Structure
Develop a clearer logical structure by organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point supporting your stance. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument cohesively.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Concrete, relevant examples from personal knowledge or reputable sources will strengthen your argument.
Complete Response
Respond more comprehensively to the task, ensuring that you discuss both sides of the argument or provide a more nuanced analysis of why you consider it a negative development. Address the implications more thoroughly to meet the task requirements.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and expand upon your main ideas to avoid ambiguity and generalization. Providing more detailed, specific, and crisply expressed thoughts will help convey your points more comprehensively.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your viewpoints. Use real-world data, studies, or personal experiences that directly relate to the topic to illustrate your points more effectively.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example
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