In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

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Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
development
of cities, more and more
people
prefer to live in the
city
instead
of
countryside
Correct article usage
the countryside
show examples
. It is true that the
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
of
urban
Correct article usage
the urban
show examples
population can boost
Add an article
the country
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country
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country's
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economy,
I
Correct word choice
but I
show examples
still believe that it is more likely to be a negative
development
.
While
city
Correct article usage
the city
show examples
population see a rise, the
city
itself will gradually become a less suitable place to live. As
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
grow, more human activities will be involved in the
city
. These will lead to
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
heavier traffic, serious air pollution and
severe
Correct article usage
a severe
show examples
lack of job opportunities.
For example
, in the
19
Correct your spelling
19th
century, Britain experienced
a
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an
show examples
industry
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industrial
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revolution, which
offers
Verb problem
caused
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more and more
people
settling
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to settle
show examples
down in the urban
area
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areas
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.
However
, with the
development
of the
city
, there
are
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is
show examples
traffic congestion on the road all day long, followed by the frog caused by car pollution and heavy smoke produced by working factories. With
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
unpleasant living environment,
people
are likely to
gain illness
Verb problem
improve
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mental health.
However
,
this
is not the only factor that may cause mental disease
of
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in
show examples
citizens. With a great number of
people
living in the
city
,
while
the job appliance declined,
pressure
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the pressure
show examples
of living will boost. Take Beijing
for example
, as one of the largest
city
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cities
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and the most crowded
city
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cities
show examples
in China, there are surveys announced that 80% of college graduates are
facing
Verb problem
apply
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unemployed after
graduate
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graduating
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from university.
Similarly
, as the number of students who can not get a job
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
, more citizens started to visit psychological clinics
according to
the research.
Consider
Wrong verb form
Considering
show examples
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the rural
development
, as
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
choose to stay in the countryside, it is noticeable that the economic badge between rural and urban will see a significant
raise
Correct your spelling
rise
show examples
.
Furthermore
, as the difference between these two
place
Change to a plural noun
places
show examples
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
bigger, the richer the
city
gets, the
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
will be glad to stay in
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
.
Therefore
, a negative cycle is formed.
Overall
, after considering the disadvantages
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
city
development
and
mental
Correct article usage
the mental
show examples
health of citizens, I strongly hold the view that
people
moving from rural to
city
Add an article
the city
show examples
is a negative
development
.
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Introduction and Conclusion
Ensure that your introduction clearly presents the topic and your viewpoint, providing a roadmap for the reader. Expand your conclusion to summarise your main points effectively, reinforcing your stance.
Logical Structure
Develop a clearer logical structure by organizing your essay into distinct paragraphs, each focusing on a specific point supporting your stance. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument cohesively.
Supported Main Points
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Concrete, relevant examples from personal knowledge or reputable sources will strengthen your argument.
Complete Response
Respond more comprehensively to the task, ensuring that you discuss both sides of the argument or provide a more nuanced analysis of why you consider it a negative development. Address the implications more thoroughly to meet the task requirements.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Clarify and expand upon your main ideas to avoid ambiguity and generalization. Providing more detailed, specific, and crisply expressed thoughts will help convey your points more comprehensively.
Relevant Specific Examples
Incorporate more specific and relevant examples to support your viewpoints. Use real-world data, studies, or personal experiences that directly relate to the topic to illustrate your points more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • rural-to-urban migration
  • population shift
  • positive impact
  • negative impact
  • urbanization
  • job opportunities
  • access to education
  • access to healthcare
  • urban infrastructure
  • rural traditions
  • cultural heritage
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