IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The willingness to take risks is the only way one can succeed in life, both personally and professionally. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#willingness #risks #life
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In
this
Linking Words
 time and age it is
will
Correct your spelling
well
show examples
 known that the way to glory and
succese
Correct your spelling
success
 is not covered with roses, and
it
Correct pronoun usage
you
show examples
 need to take risks to reach your dream in
this
Linking Words
 world. I do agree that we as individuals need to
make
Correct your spelling
take
show examples
 calculated
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 to get what we want out of life, but keep in mind that there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 a chance
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 failing even if we try hard.
Fourtune
Correct your spelling
Fortune
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 the brave
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is what
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been said for centuries, succese is
mix
Add an article
a mix
show examples
 of hard work and the courage to take
Use synonyms
Add an article
the risk
a risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 others
are hesitate
Change the verb form
hesitate
show examples
 to make the first move.
For example
Linking Words
, the founder of
Add an article
the soft
show examples
soft bank
Correct your spelling
Soft Bank
show examples
 was one of
few
Correct article usage
the few
show examples
investers
Correct your spelling
investors
 who
invest
Wrong verb form
invested
show examples
 in tech
start up
Correct your spelling
start-ups
show examples
 in
it
Change the pronoun
its
show examples
 early
stage
Fix the agreement mistake
stages
show examples
. As
Correct article usage
a result
show examples
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 he become
billioner
Correct article usage
a billioner
show examples
 before the age of
50s
Correct your spelling
50
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
being
Use synonyms
risk
Correct article usage
a risk
show examples
 taker will help the person to build personality
quailty
Correct your spelling
quality
 that are
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
for success.
For instance
Linking Words
, many young CEO who have
successfull
Correct your spelling
successful
successfully
start
Fix the agreement mistake
starts
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
are
risk
Use synonyms
taker
Fix the agreement mistake
takers
show examples
, many of them drop out of university, to start
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 own
comany
Correct your spelling
company
 which by the way are new and
high
Add a hyphen
high-risk
show examples
risk
Use synonyms
 industry.
in
Linking Words
addition
Add a comma
addition,
show examples
 they had
develop
Change the verb form
developed
show examples
set
Add an article
a set
show examples
 of character to survive the challenges they
face
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
 in
this
Linking Words
 environment, they
learn
Wrong verb form
learned
show examples
 to build
self confident
Correct your spelling
self-confidence
show examples
 that
help
Wrong verb form
helped
show examples
 them to lead
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 team, strong stamina in difficult times, and make quick
decision
Fix the agreement mistake
decisions
show examples
.
Therefore
Linking Words
 taking
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
grow
Correct subject-verb agreement
grows
show examples
 strong
mentailty
Correct your spelling
mentality
mentally
 and character which leads
at the end
Linking Words
 to success. In conclusion, the will to take
Use synonyms
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 help to
building
Change the verb form
build
show examples
 character and
mentailty
Correct your spelling
mentality
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 is essential for
successe
Correct your spelling
success
. I do encourage anyone who
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 goals and dreams, and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
Fix the infinitive
to comes
show examples
comes
Wrong verb form
come
show examples
 true to
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
adapt to
this
Linking Words
 essential skill.
Submitted by neamaabdo90 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing your essay's structure by clearly dividing it into paragraphs, each representing a unique idea or point of your argument. This will significantly improve readability and the overall logical flow of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful of spelling and grammatical errors; they can distract from your argument's clarity and impact. Examples include 'succese' (success), 'will known' (well known), 'investers' (investors), 'billioner' (billionaire), 'quailty' (quality), 'neccesary' (necessary), 'there' (their), 'mentailty' (mentality). Proofreading more carefully can enhance your essay's professionalism.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, make sure your argument critically evaluates both sides of the argument more deeply. While you do provide examples to support your viewpoint, elaborating further on contrasting viewpoints and then refuting them or explaining why taking risks is superior would offer a more nuanced perspective.
task achievement
Consider including a wider range of vocabulary to articulate your points more effectively. Using varied and precise language can help to express your ideas more clearly and make your essay more engaging for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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