Many animals are facing extinction in the wild. Why is this happening? What can be done to protect them?

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Animals are a crucial part of nature that brings many benefits to the ecosystem. They have lived in the wild longer than humans have, and they still continue to do so outside of the few domesticated ones.
However
, as time goes on, more and more
species
face the risk of extinction.
Therefore
,
this
essay will delve into the various reasons why
this
may occur
as well as
the methods that can be used to protect them. With the rise in population, and in turn, the area needed for housing, natural areas,
such
as forests that has been demolished in favour of cities and factories.
While
this
may seem harmless at first, there used to be countless natural habitats for certain animals, and
it is clear that
this
is a growing problem and has caused plenty of
species
to go extinct.
Furthermore
, the lack of care for those at risk of extinction
as well as
the blatant use of them for producing or hunting purposes,
for instance
, fish and ducks, have been considered as their significant part in nature, and protecting the few
species
becomes increasingly important. Animal enclosures and scientific research in order to better their life quality have been done in an attempt to halt an endangered
species
' process of elimination. Yet, it is
also
important to reduce projects that harm existing natural habitats.
Instead
of burning forests to make more room for housing, developing the current areas solves problems of transportation and natural well-being, benefitting both humans and animals. In conclusion, wild animal elimination is a growing problem caused by human ignorance, even though attempts to mitigate these problems have been made, and
further
actions can be taken to protect them.
Submitted by kelly on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, use transitional phrases to more clearly connect ideas between paragraphs. For example, words like 'moreover', 'in addition', or 'on the other hand' can help improve the flow.
task achievement
Consider adding more relevant, specific examples to strengthen the arguments. These could include data, case studies, or particular instances of animal extinction and conservation efforts.
task achievement
Enhance task achievement by discussing additional causes of animal extinction or exploring further potential solutions. This would demonstrate a more thorough examination of the issue.
task achievement
The essay clearly identifies the problem of animal extinction and suggests logical solutions, maintaining relevance throughout.
coherence cohesion
Ideas are presented in a logical order, with a clear progression from identifying the problem to proposing solutions.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, summarizing the main points and reinforcing the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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