IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Writing task 1 General training -The parents of your Australian friend Chris have invited you to surprise birthday party for him/her. Write a letter to Chris parents . In your letter -Say why you think Chris will enjoy the surprise party. -Explain why you won’t be able to attend the party - Give details of plan to see Chris at a different time

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Dear Mr and Mrs Mhsawde I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
radiant health and
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 of
spirit
Fix the agreement mistake
spirits
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I would like to thank you for sending the invitation
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 Chris’s 25th birthday , it feels like yesterday we were playing in the park as a child and today we are all grown up , I must say time just flies so fast . Since we were kids I remember how Chris used to like
surprise
Use synonyms
 parties and
surprise
Use synonyms
 gifts , the smile and joy on his face
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
show examples
 every arrangement
worth
Replace the word
worthwhile
show examples
. I am sure
this
Linking Words
 time he will feel
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
 joy and will enjoy the
surprise
Use synonyms
 party.
However
Linking Words
due to
Linking Words
 my important business meeting on the same day ,
unfortunately
Add the comma(s)
unfortunately,
show examples
 I am unable to attend the party. I cannot express how sad I am feeling , because I won’t be present there
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
 Chris ’s birthday celebration but I promise I will compensate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
him . For a long
time
Add a comma
time,
show examples
 I was actually thinking of visiting Australia to meet Chris and
Linking Words
finally
Add a comma
finally,
show examples
 I have booked tickets for next month . I will be arriving on 9th January and on 10th of January I will visit your house to
surprise
Use synonyms
 him . I would really appreciate
if
Correct pronoun usage
it if
show examples
 you keep
this
Linking Words
 plan a secret until I get there. I cannot express
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
in words
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
how excited I am to see him. Hoping to see you soon. Your lovingly, Parthvi

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Greeting and Closing
Your letter successfully delivers the message to Chris's parents, maintaining a polite and caring tone. However, try to improve your greeting and closing remarks. Although 'Dear Mr and Mrs Mhsawde' is a good start, it could be further personalized if you are aware of their first names or titles. In closing, 'Your lovingly' is a nice touch but ensure consistency in your relationship with the person, 'Yours sincerely' might better suit less personal contexts.
Single Idea per Paragraph
Ensure each paragraph deals with a single idea. The first paragraph could focus solely on gratitude for the invitation and your thoughts on how quickly time has passed since childhood. Separating your explanation on why you won’t be able to attend into its own paragraph would enhance clarity. You have done this well, but maintaining this structure consistently will further improve your letter's coherence.
Logical Structure
The logical structure of your letter flows well, starting with the introduction and gratitude, moving to the explanation of your absence, and culminating in your plan to visit. To strengthen logical transitions, you might add a sentence linking your inability to attend the birthday with your plan to visit Australia, making the overall narrative more cohesive.
Complete Response
While your response fits the task requirements, consider expanding on your explanation for not attending. For example, briefly describe the nature of the business meeting and its importance, which will give more depth to your regret for missing the birthday. Additionally, expanding on what you plan to do with Chris during your visit could enrich your letter and further display your enthusiasm and the significance of the visit.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: