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Band 5.5

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education
Success
 can be interpreted in various ways depending on an individual's perception.
While
 some people may consider achieving their career or educational goals as
success
, others may measure it differently. In
this
 essay, we will delve into the multifaceted meaning of
success
 and provide the author's perspective on the topic. The definition of
success
 can be subjective and influenced by various factors,
such
 as cultural, economic, and social issues.
For instance
, individuals living in poverty may view
success
 as having access to at least three meals a day and being able to witness their grandchildren grow up.
On the other hand
, affluent individuals may equate
success
 with purchasing a private jet, a luxury car, or a new mansion. For those in the middle class,
success
 could encompass earning a promotion at work or completing an advanced degree. In certain countries,
such
 as Brazil, Italy, and Portugal,
success
 may be valued differently than in other places. In these nations, where traditions like family and friendship hold great significance, achieving
success
 may mean something as simple as getting married, starting a family, and maintaining lifelong friendships. In fact, in some cases, spending quality time with loved ones can be considered more important than pursuing a high-paying job or a prestigious career.
Success
 is not just a destination, but
also
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 journey. It's not only about achieving goals
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 maintaining a balance between personal and professional life. True
success
 is when you feel happy in every aspect of your life.
Submitted by fmulato on

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Task Achievement
To boost your task achievement score, consider incorporating more varied and detailed examples that directly support your views. This would enhance the relevancy and depth of your essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, you have established a clear logical structure; however, experimenting with a wider range of linking words and phrases can create smoother transitions between ideas and improve the overall flow of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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