Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In
the
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apply
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recent years, the
amount
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number
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of folks who want to go to
the
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apply
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clinics or hospitals
are
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has been
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decreasing
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decreased
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, and
replace
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them
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they
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with alternative medicines. Personally, I consider there
comes
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are
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pros and cons. On the one hand, if patients were under ailment, they might go to the drug store for healing. It is helpful to make
the
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apply
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society
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society's
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resources
can
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apply
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run more effectively and efficiently. Take Taiwan
for example
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, Taiwan is famous for its cheap medical
fee
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fees
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,
this
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policy
let
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lets
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poor
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the poor
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can
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apply
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afford the expense of
treatment
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bills,
however
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, it
also
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has caused numerous problems. The most serious issue is that citizens in Taiwan are used to wasting health care resources, it is common
that
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for
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many sick
people
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rush
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to rush
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into every clinic even
they
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if they
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only need a few days to recover. If these persons can seek other
treatment
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on their own, they will not stand the social resources and those patients
under
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with
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critical illness can accept the best therapy.
One
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On
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the other hand, it is a negative development because the percentage of
people
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mislead lethal drugs is increasing. Most of
time
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the time
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, they do not realize the function and side
effect
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effects
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of medicine and
treatment
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, some
people
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may be allergic to some
ingredient
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ingredients
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,
therefore
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cause
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causing
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more
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a more
the more
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severe
healthy
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health
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problem
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problems
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.
For instance
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, in some countries, the cost of medical care is too high so they are cheated by quacksalver who say that they only need to pay
halve
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half
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bill
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the bill
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.
However
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, it is frequently reported in the newspaper that these frauds are murderers,
many
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and many
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residents die because of them. In conclusion,
people
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can receive useful care on their own, doctors will spend more saving more lives,
while
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some of them do not get the right
treatment
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.
As a result
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, I think it is
a
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an
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advantaged and disadvantaged development.
Submitted by Joanna on

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structure
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly dividing it into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay should start with an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion. Following that, each paragraph should center around one main idea with examples and explanations. Finally, conclude your essay by summarizing your points and restating your opinion.
linking
Enhance the linkage between ideas by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow. Consider employing phrases like ‘Furthermore’, ‘On the other hand’, ‘In addition’, to provide smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you mentioned some examples, delving deeper into them with more detail or citing more examples could strengthen your case. This specificity can help make your arguments more convincing and illustrative of your points.
relevance
Ensure that you address the task directly and maintain relevance to the question throughout your essay. Each paragraph should contribute to answering the question from the prompt. Consider revisiting the essay question after writing your essay to ensure that you have fully responded to it.
language
Work on proofreading your essay for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. These mistakes can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to understand. For clarity and a more professional appearance, take the time to revise your work before submission.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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