IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

In
the
Correct article usage
apply
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recent years, the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of folks who want to go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
clinics or hospitals
are
Wrong verb form
has been
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decreasing
Wrong verb form
decreased
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, and
replace
Verb problem
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 with alternative medicines. Personally, I consider there
comes
Verb problem
are
show examples
 pros and cons. On the one hand, if patients were under ailment, they might go to the drug store for healing. It is helpful to make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 resources
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
run more effectively and efficiently. Take Taiwan
for example
Linking Words
, Taiwan is famous for its cheap medical
fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
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,
this
Linking Words
 policy
let
Correct subject-verb agreement
lets
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poor
Correct article usage
the poor
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can
Verb problem
apply
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afford the expense of
treatment
Use synonyms
 bills,
however
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
 has caused numerous problems. The most serious issue is that citizens in Taiwan are used to wasting health care resources, it is common
that
Correct word choice
for
show examples
 many sick
people
Use synonyms
rush
Fix the infinitive
to rush
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 into every clinic even
they
Correct word choice
if they
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 only need a few days to recover. If these persons can seek other
treatment
Use synonyms
 on their own, they will not stand the social resources and those patients
under
Change preposition
with
show examples
 critical illness can accept the best therapy.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
 the other hand, it is a negative development because the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
 mislead lethal drugs is increasing. Most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
, they do not realize the function and side
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 of medicine and
treatment
Use synonyms
, some
people
Use synonyms
 may be allergic to some
ingredient
Fix the agreement mistake
ingredients
show examples
,
therefore
Linking Words
cause
Wrong verb form
causing
show examples
more
Add an article
a more
the more
show examples
 severe
healthy
Replace the word
health
show examples
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in some countries, the cost of medical care is too high so they are cheated by quacksalver who say that they only need to pay
halve
Correct your spelling
half
show examples
bill
Correct article usage
the bill
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, it is frequently reported in the newspaper that these frauds are murderers,
many
Correct word choice
and many
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 residents die because of them. In conclusion,
people
Use synonyms
 can receive useful care on their own, doctors will spend more saving more lives,
while
Linking Words
 some of them do not get the right
treatment
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, I think it is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 advantaged and disadvantaged development.

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structure
Improve the structure of your essay by clearly dividing it into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay should start with an introduction that paraphrases the question and states your opinion. Following that, each paragraph should center around one main idea with examples and explanations. Finally, conclude your essay by summarizing your points and restating your opinion.
linking
Enhance the linkage between ideas by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow. Consider employing phrases like ‘Furthermore’, ‘On the other hand’, ‘In addition’, to provide smoother transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
examples
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you mentioned some examples, delving deeper into them with more detail or citing more examples could strengthen your case. This specificity can help make your arguments more convincing and illustrative of your points.
relevance
Ensure that you address the task directly and maintain relevance to the question throughout your essay. Each paragraph should contribute to answering the question from the prompt. Consider revisiting the essay question after writing your essay to ensure that you have fully responded to it.
language
Work on proofreading your essay for spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors. These mistakes can distract from your argument and make your essay harder to understand. For clarity and a more professional appearance, take the time to revise your work before submission.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • alternative medicines
  • treatments
  • positive development
  • negative development
  • health problems
  • usual doctor
  • access
  • personalized approach
  • holistic well-being
  • lack of regulation
  • evidence-based research
  • proper medical treatment
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