IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Housing shortage in big cities can cause severe social consequences. Some people think only government action can solve this problem. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#shortage #cities #consequences #people #government #action
Housing shortage has become one of the most pressing issues in urban places. Some people argue that
government
 action is the only way to address
this
 challenge. I totally agree with
this
 argument, and
this
 will be proven by looking at how the
government
 can make a significant difference to the housing industry.
Firstly
, the
government
 has more financial resources than other sectors. As
government
 authorities collect taxes from every working individual, they are able to generate a large amount of money that can be used to build more houses and apartment buildings.
For example
, in some big cities,
government
 funding is allocated to build more residential properties in order to accommodate the needs of the ever-growing number of urban residents.
Therefore
, it seems reasonable for the
government
 to deal with the housing crisis
due to
 its great financial capacity. The second reason lies in the political power of the
government
. As
government
 authorities act as decision-makers in society, they can make policies in relation to the housing shortage and take various measures to combat housing-related challenges.A case in point is the strategic utilization of zoning and urban planning mechanisms in council estates across England, which have facilitated a more balanced distribution between commercial and residential zones.
Conversely
, non-governmental sectors lack the requisite political influence to effectuate
such
 systemic changes. In conclusion,
it is clear that
government
 intervention is the only effective way to resolve
housing
Correct article usage
the housing
show examples
 shortage. Hopefully, the
government
 can strive to create a better living place for urban residents
through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 employing its financial resources and political advantage.
Submitted by yizi.dang on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance your task response, ensure you develop your ideas more deeply with richer details. Integrate more varied examples that convincingly support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases. This will make the transition between ideas smoother and your essay more cohesive.
coherence cohesion
To elevate the logical structure, work on creating clearer and more distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, and this should be evident from the first sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • affordable housing
  • urban planning
  • policies
  • funding
  • private sector
  • community organizations
  • public-private partnerships
  • innovative solutions
  • market demands
  • financially viable
  • socioeconomic factors
  • income inequality
  • migration
  • urbanization
  • concerted efforts
What to do next:
Look at other essays: