Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Sport
Fix the agreement mistake
Sports
show examples
facilities
issues are
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
debated in society. Some people
believed
Wrong verb form
believe
show examples
that it is essential to build
a training
Correct the article-noun agreement
a training facility
training facilities
show examples
facilities
for talented
athletes
while
others claim that it
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
more crucial to provide public
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
areas
for communities.
This
essay will first look at the arguments for turning to those against.
Although
the against, I firmly believe that the
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
should be provided to top
athletes
. First of all, international sports are popular in many countries, which is it will be
previllege
Correct your spelling
privilege
privileged
for the country who
win
Correct subject-verb agreement
wins
show examples
most
Correct article usage
the most
show examples
matches in tournaments. Many
coutries
Correct your spelling
countries
will
familiar
Add a missing verb
be familiar
show examples
with
athletes
's nationality if they win the competitions.
For example
, Indonesia has many top
athletes
ifor
Correct your spelling
in
badminton
international
Correct word choice
and international
show examples
olimpiades
Correct your spelling
olympiads
. They should be supported by giving training
facilities
which the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
play a vital role
to encourage
Change preposition
in encouraging
show examples
them.
The
Correct your spelling
They
show examples
can
enchance
Correct your spelling
enhance
their talents and focus through the
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
and exercises.
Conversely
, others think that offering public sports
facilities
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
critical because it can raise the number of people to be more active in
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
, so they can be more healthier. There are
areas
of the countries
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be develop
Change the verb form
be developed
show examples
such
as cycling
areas
and walking
areas
in the urban city owing to the effect of
vehicles's
Remove the s
vehicles'
show examples
pollutan
Correct your spelling
pollutants
. It can foster
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
healthy
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
in communities.
Moreover
, more people might
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a desire
cycling
Change the verb form
to cycle
show examples
to the offices but because lack of
facilities
they choose
using
Change the verb form
to use
show examples
their vehicles.
To sum up
,
although
there are disadvantages
Change preposition
to
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
training
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
star
athletes
and
might be
Verb problem
apply
show examples
it
seems
Wrong verb form
might seem
show examples
crucial
fostering
Wrong verb form
to foster
show examples
sports
areas
for
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
, I agree that
athletes
should be
encourged
Correct your spelling
encouraged
and supervised because they
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
playing
Wrong verb form
play
show examples
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
vital
Correct article usage
a vital
show examples
role to introduce their countries
Change preposition
to
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
international
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
.
Submitted by innezgracias on

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Task Achievement
To improve your Task Achievement score, ensure that you fully address all parts of the task. This includes discussing both views thoroughly and providing a clear and detailed opinion. Try to expand your argument with more specific examples and a deeper analysis of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a better score in Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more logically and clearly. Use a variety of linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Pay attention to paragraph structure: one main idea per paragraph supported by examples and explanations.
Language Accuracy
Revise your essay for grammar and spelling errors as they can affect the clarity of your argument. Consider practicing sentence structure and punctuation to make your writing clearer and more professional.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
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