More and more animal species are being extinct because of human activites on land and seas. Why is this happening? What are solutions for this problem?

#species #activites #land #seas

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Due to

human activities, a great number of land and marine

animals

face

extinction

and

this

problem is worsening these days. There are some reasons why

this

phenomenon is occurring, and there are

also

some ways to tackle

this

issue.

To begin

with, there are some factors which result in animal

extinction

. First and foremost, destroyed habitats of

animals

can be a reason. In order to develop and prosper, it is inevitable for countries to carry out deforestation and water pollution. These processes can eventually harm and destroy the habitats of wildlife.

In addition

, there are still many hunters who kill or hunt animal species. As they illegally kill or harm

animals

for

sales

Fix the agreement mistake

sale

show examples

, the number of

animals

decreases and results in

extinction

Add an article

the extinction

show examples

of them.

Furthermore

, the increased amount of discarded chemicals

into

Change preposition

show examples

water and soil may cause animal

extinction

However

, some solutions can be introduced to alleviate the issue. First of all, reforestation must be implemented. It is important to provide natural habitats for

animals

. People should plant more trees to form more forests for

animals

Secondly

, governments and authorities must create animal reserves to protect endangered

animals

. By having these facilities,

animals

can reproduce

Correct word choice

and be

show examples

protected in safe places.

Lastly

, strict regulations must be imposed for illegal hunting. Illegal hunters should identify

harmful

Correct article usage

the harmful

show examples

effects of their actions and should be punished heavily in order not to continue their wrong behaviour. In conclusion,

although

there are more

animals

which are

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

extinct, I firmly believe that there are some ways to protect them.

Thus

, both individuals and governments should be aware of

this

problem and make some efforts to improve the current situation.

Submitted by dmdql2708 on Thu Apr 04 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Try to include more detailed examples to support your main points. This can help make your arguments stronger and more convincing.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is structured logically, connect your ideas more seamlessly by using a variety of linking words and phrases that show cause, effect, addition, comparison, and contrast.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-developed, effectively outlining the issue and providing a clear stance.

task achievement

You have addressed the task question comprehensively, covering both causes and solutions for the issue at hand.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young.
It is often claimed that stars are popular now due to their glamour lifestyle, not personal or professional achievements. I completely agree with this point, broadcasting nice pictures of rich life without any effort makes young people lazy and gives them wrong expectations.
7
band
Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In this day and age, education is an essential field for every country in the world, which is an evaluation scale for the development of regions. Some individuals assume that people should be studied to become helpful citizens for society. While others suppose education helps people reach personal achievement. In this essay, I will discuss the above opinions.
8
band
It has been suggested that all citizens should stay in full-time education until the age of 21. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
It is argued that till the age of 21, all individuals must be in full-time education. The advantages to this are that students will be able to enhance their knowledge and skills, and it will help in their personal development. However, the disadvantages are that it may come with a financial burden and also result in a delayed entry into the workforce.
7.5
band
The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, companies are losing vast amounts of money due to losing their goods as a result of transportation accidents. Although it is true that regularly monitoring the driving skills of transport owners will contribute to the safety of transportation of cargo, I would argue that this approach is not the most superior solution and there are other, more effective measures to deal with the problem.
6.5
band
Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, some people think that the key to solving these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. I completely agree that this is the best way to tackle the issue of deteriorating public health in relation to weight.

More and more animal species are being extinct because of human activites on land and seas. Why is this happening? What are solutions for this problem?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamor and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young.

Some people believe the purpose of education is to prepare people to be useful members for society. Others say that the purpose of education is to achieve personal ambitions. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It has been suggested that all citizens should stay in full-time education until the age of 21. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

The best way to make the road transport of goods safer is to ask drivers to take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some parents buy their children a large number of toys to play with. What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child having a large number of toys?