IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Write about the following topic: Some people think that university should not provide theoretical knowledge, but give practical training that is beneficial to society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#topic #people #university #society
In modern days,
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 large number of people believe that
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should give practical training that has many
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
 to society
whereas
 others think that
improve
Wrong verb form
improving
show examples
 theoretical knowledge is beneficial
some
Change preposition
for some
show examples
 majors
such
 as technology and science. In my opinion,
university
programm
Correct your spelling
programs
 has to
equal
Add a missing verb
be equal
show examples
 in both of
this statement
Fix the agreement mistake
these statements
show examples
.
At
Change preposition
In
show examples
 the
begging
Correct your spelling
beginning
show examples
, a lot of
jobs
 need
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
theoretical knowledge. The scientists do not do their research and experience with practical training they
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
do their research or experience
base
Replace the word
based
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
theory
. And people
dicriminate
Correct your spelling
discriminate
 between right and wrong with
this
 scientist's
theory
.
Therefore
, many
jobs
 which are really useful for life
needed to
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 theoretical knowledge.
In addition
, there are many students who
interested
Add a missing verb
are interested
show examples
 in science or
math's
Change noun form
math
show examples
 occupation the
theory
lesson
 is very
needful
Correct word choice
useful
show examples
 for them.
On the other hand
, there are
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
 of
jobs
 which
are needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
 practical training. If students
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
are studying
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
architecture or some
jobs
 which
needed
Wrong verb form
need
show examples
practic
Correct your spelling
practical
show examples
 training,
theory
Add an article
the theory
show examples
 will not needed a lot. A good example of
this
 would be, the singers and actresses or actors do not need theoretical
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 because they do not sing or act with formula.
That
Correct pronoun usage
Those
show examples
jobs
related
Add a missing verb
are related
show examples
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 their talent and
practic
Correct your spelling
practical
show examples
 training like how to cry when they act in sad scenes.
Moreover
, there are workers who did not study in
university
 or school they just
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
their
Change preposition
on their
show examples
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
 with their
practic
Correct your spelling
practice
show examples
 skills.
To sum up
,
most
Add an article
the most
a most
show examples
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 should
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
be
Add an article
a balance
show examples
balance
Wrong verb form
balanced
show examples
 between
practic
Correct your spelling
practical
show examples
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 and
theory
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 because all
jobs
 do not need
practic
Correct your spelling
practical
show examples
 training or
formula
Fix the agreement mistake
formulas
show examples
.
Therefore
, universities have to consider that student's future job and ability.
Submitted by buyabuya201 on

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Structure & Clarity
Clearly define your position in the introduction and reiterate it in the conclusion to enhance clarity and impact. This provides a stronger framework for your argument.
Logical Structure
Focus on developing a more logical structure. Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each centered around a single main idea, to improve flow and readability.
Evidence and Examples
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. Specific, relevant examples strengthen your argument and make your position more convincing.
Sentence Structure
Work on the variability of sentence structures to enhance readability and maintain the reader's interest. Employ a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences.
Language Accuracy
Consider improving your grammar, vocabulary, and punctuation. Accurate use of English enhances the clarity and professionalism of your essay.
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