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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that the increasing use of computers and mobile phones in communication has negative effects on young people's reading and writing skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #computers #phones #communication #effects #skills
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Nowadays, many young people have a personal mobile connection. And because of
this
, it poisons the brains of many young people. It makes them lose their desire to study, to look at the world, and to find their place in the future. I think
this
 situation is definitely wrong.because a person is nobody if he does not find his place in the future. too bad for himself. If he doesn't study for himself, no one will need him.
Therefore
, if he studies and studies from now on, his future will be bright
Also
, mobile communication has its advantages. they are good and the skin can be used on the road. There are many online tutorials and various reading materials available. meanwhile, I
also
 use mobile communications for tutorials. we are the president who created various internet and technology facilities for the youth. In conclusion is important to use technology
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
computers, and mobile communications for useful things and not to waste time.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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task achievement
Focus on presenting a clear and well-defined introduction that succinctly states your position on the topic; this will help set the stage for a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a logical structure with distinct introduction, body, and conclusion sections. Use paragraphing effectively to organize your ideas.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Be careful with your language use, aiming for clarity and precision. Avoid vague statements and ensure your sentences are grammatically correct and well-constructed.
task achievement
Work on developing comprehensive ideas related to the prompt. Analyze the impact of technology usage more deeply and consider different perspectives before concluding.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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